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02-08-2003, 07:21 PM
After every flight pilots complete a gripe sheet, the Mechanics then respond by writing what remedial action was taken.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, as submitted by QANTAS Pilots, and the solution recorded by mechanics.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
PILOT: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
MECHANIC: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
PILOT: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
MECHANIC: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
PILOT: Something loose in cockpit.
MECHANIC: Something tightened in cockpit.
PILOT: Dead bugs on windshield.
MECHANIC: Live bugs on backorder.
PILOT: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 FPM descent.
MECHANIC: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
PILOT: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
MECHANIC: Evidence removed.
PILOT: DME volume unbelievably loud.
MECHANIC: DME volume set to more believable level.
PILOT: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
MECHANIC: That's what they're there for.
PILOT: IFF inoperative. (Radar Transponder)
MECHANIC: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
PILOT: Suspected crack in windshield.
MECHANIC: Suspect you're right.
PILOT: Number 3 engine missing.
MECHANIC: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
PILOT: Aircraft handles funny.
MECHANIC: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
PILOT: Target radar hums.
MECHANIC: Reprogrammed target radar with words.
PILOT: Mouse in cockpit.
MECHANIC: Cat installed.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, as submitted by QANTAS Pilots, and the solution recorded by mechanics.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
PILOT: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
MECHANIC: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
PILOT: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
MECHANIC: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
PILOT: Something loose in cockpit.
MECHANIC: Something tightened in cockpit.
PILOT: Dead bugs on windshield.
MECHANIC: Live bugs on backorder.
PILOT: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 FPM descent.
MECHANIC: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
PILOT: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
MECHANIC: Evidence removed.
PILOT: DME volume unbelievably loud.
MECHANIC: DME volume set to more believable level.
PILOT: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
MECHANIC: That's what they're there for.
PILOT: IFF inoperative. (Radar Transponder)
MECHANIC: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
PILOT: Suspected crack in windshield.
MECHANIC: Suspect you're right.
PILOT: Number 3 engine missing.
MECHANIC: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
PILOT: Aircraft handles funny.
MECHANIC: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
PILOT: Target radar hums.
MECHANIC: Reprogrammed target radar with words.
PILOT: Mouse in cockpit.
MECHANIC: Cat installed.