"I am a college student at a large midwestern university"..

**Altarboy** · 07-30-2013, 09:29 PM

'I have blonde hair, blue eyes, and large breasts. One night I was up late studying in the basement of the undergraduate library when..."

When I was a kid, I found a large stash of books entitled 'Letters to Forum' in my stepmothers closet. It was an exciting time, but I wondered how so many people were hooking up so often. One day a buddy said 'you know most of those letters are fake. Some fat guy in a tank top smoking a cigar is writing those damn things". It kinda spoiled my image of Penthouse.

**Full Otto** · 07-30-2013, 09:35 PM

Originally Posted by Altarboy

'I have blonde hair, blue eyes, and large breasts.

In that case I think I know how to get your roads fixed

**Krupski** · 07-30-2013, 10:03 PM

Originally Posted by Altarboy

'I have blonde hair, blue eyes, and large breasts. One night I was up late studying in the basement of the undergraduate library when..."

When I was a kid, I found a large stash of books entitled 'Letters to Forum' in my stepmothers closet. It was an exciting time, but I wondered how so many people were hooking up so often. One day a buddy said 'you know most of those letters are fake. Some fat guy in a tank top smoking a cigar is writing those damn things". It kinda spoiled my image of Penthouse.

I always laughed at the guys who claimed they blew their wad and it knocked a hole in the wall.

**Altarboy** · 07-30-2013, 10:06 PM

Originally Posted by Krupski

I always laughed at the guys who claimed they blew their wad and it knocked a hole in the wall.

What? Stay with us Krup.

**coppertales** · 07-30-2013, 10:14 PM

Count me out. I don't like large hooters................chris3

**deth502** · 07-31-2013, 05:27 AM

studies show 9 out of 10 guy like big tits. the 10th one prefers the other 9 guys.

**Woogiebear** · 07-31-2013, 07:39 AM

Any time I am hanging out with the guys and they start talking shop, I always try and steer the conversation towards boobs. Its a much more entertaining subject.

**5.56NATO** · 07-31-2013, 12:39 PM

Some fat guy in a tank top smoking a cigar is writing those damn things".

**Krupski** · 07-31-2013, 01:03 PM

Originally Posted by deth502

studies show 9 out of 10 guy like big tits. the 10th one prefers the other 9 guys.

9 out of 10 men who tried Camels preferred women.

**FunkyPertwee** · 07-31-2013, 01:05 PM

Originally Posted by Krupski

9 out of 10 men who tried Camels preferred women.

What made you decide to try a camel?

**rci2950** · 07-31-2013, 01:23 PM

At sea when were all laying in our racks sometimes when there is a brand new ordinary seaman (private) that is all new and nervous, we will make him read those letters to us.

Good times.

**Krupski** · 07-31-2013, 08:16 PM

Originally Posted by FunkyPertwee

What made you decide to try a camel?

To see if women really were better. They are. Camels smell terrible.

**Dr. Gonzo GED** · 07-31-2013, 08:30 PM

Those stories are fake!?!!?

Man, no wonder all the chicks I hit on in the Walmart parking lot give me that look...

**raxar** · 07-31-2013, 09:08 PM

Originally Posted by Dr. Gonzo GED

Those stories are fake!?!!?

Man, no wonder all the chicks I hit on in the Walmart parking lot give me that look...

you gotta be classy, like a silk handkerchief soaked in chloroform kinda classy.

**btcave** · 07-31-2013, 09:14 PM

Originally Posted by Dr. Gonzo GED

Those stories are fake!?!!?

Man, no wonder all the chicks I hit on in the Walmart parking lot give me that look...

Is the bang bus fake?

**Dr. Gonzo GED** · 07-31-2013, 09:27 PM

Originally Posted by raxar

you gotta be classy, like a silk handkerchief soaked in chloroform kinda classy.

My favorite pick up line! "Hey, does this rag smell funny to you?"

Originally Posted by btcave

Is the bang bus fake?

The Bang Bus is fake too!?!?

Great! Next you're going to tell me women aren't actually attracted to guys who look like Ron Jeremy...

**btcave** · 07-31-2013, 09:28 PM

Originally Posted by Dr. Gonzo GED

The Bang Bus is fake too!?!?

Great! Next you're going to tell me women aren't actually attracted to guys who look like Ron Jeremy...

Well...

**raxar** · 07-31-2013, 09:54 PM

Originally Posted by btcave

Is the bang bus fake?

Dear Penthouse,

I never thought it would happen to me:

The evening found me solitary, wandering the aisles of wal-mart pondering the futility of another night spent alone, drowning my sorrows in a bottle of wild irish rose, then I saw her. A scrappy 5'4" with hair as blond as a bottle could make it, lean and tender with an over sized ass barely contained by her tie dye stretch pants. Covered in tattoos and years of nicotine stains, she was a vision of beauty in a dirty Dirks Bently tee shirt. She gently swayed from pet supplies to home goods as I followed at what my lawyer assured me was "legally" safe distance, until she made that fateful decision to browse the tightly packed rows of discount clothing. I knew it would be my only shot, the pesky leering eyes of the security cameras blocked by Miley Cyrus's smiling cardboard face. Heart pounding I thrust myself closer and closer, fumbling for my secret weapon. Suddenly she turned to face me, confused she flashed a crooked yellow smile, until I POUNCED. Heart throbbing and sweat pouring off my face I put my rascal in high gear and raced off to get a couple of 50 pound bags of dog food and a cart, my trojan horse of love. Knowing the fools in the checkout lane would never notice I gently placed my darling treasure at the bottom and placed the alpo on top of her. Then it was a mere 20 minute wait as countless EBT cards paid for piles of baby formula and top ramen. When it was at last my turn I made every effort to charm the chubby, somewhat gnomeish looking fellow at the register as he dis-interestingly totaled my bill. He left out a grunt as I handed him the money, but no questions about the stirring mass at the bottom of my cart! SUCCESS! I ran as hard as I could out of the store, like a victor at the olympics. Hurriedly I shoveled everything into the back of my econoline and sent praises to every deity I could think of.

As I drove off I could hear a faint mutter and scratching on the steel floor, just the opening interlude to what would be the greatest night of my life.