Our assistant yard man found dead in his apartment

[davepool]

Cops are saying natural causes, the guy was 55 years old. Worked for us for over 7 years, never missed a day without calling before hand, always willing to work at any job. He missed work last friday, no call, no show, and the same for yesterday and today, i had joked with one of the superintendents that he had probably bored himself to death. Starting to feel like a real jerk about that right now

Kind of an odd bird, but a real nice easy to get along with guy. Always wanted to talk and join in , but he had a tendency to start rambling on and on, so we would just walk away leaving him hanging in mid sentence. He took it in a good natured way and never lost his temper. Starting to feel like a real jerk about that right now.

The last few weeks he had been going to a doctor about his blood pressure and had asked me several times what i had done to lose 60 lbs. I explained the changes i had made to my eating habits and how it worked for me, then he would start rambling and i would walk away. Starting to feel like a real jerk about that right now.

[davepool]

I've been a member here for a few years now and have had a few close friends and acquaintances pass away and never felt a need to air it out in public, but this one is really bugging me. I think because we treated the guy like crap, after all he was " just the yard guy". He seemed like a pretty lonely guy and just wanted some human contact and i shunned him. Fuck i feel like a jerk.

[NAPOTS]

No problem dave i understand i guess it drives home the point to treat our brothers well as they may not be here tomorrow

[FunkyPertwee]

Just take it as a lesson and try to treat people better.

[Schuetzenman]

Life's a bitch, then you die. I don't think you should beat yourself up about not wanting to be bored by a rambling person. Granted 55 is to young to pass, but you didn't do it.

[davepool]

That's what i'm going to take away from all this, a little extra kindness in my life will do me good. I think it's going to change a few attitudes at work too. We were told about this at a staff meeting today and i think everyone walked away wishing they hadn't treated Donny so badly.

Sad part is, nobody knows anything about the man; pretty fucked up to work with someone for 7 years and not know a damn thing about him.

[Oswald Bastable]

Dave...I have a friend like this guy...we've known each other over 30 years...he's socially awkward, with a somewhat off-puting personality, and no clue why he doesn't fit in...and the more he tries to fit in, the more confused he becomes as to social relationships. He's a good egg, very knowledgeable and intelligent on the subjects of his interest, but he's bereft of social interaction knowledge, and not likely to attain it any time soon...the nuances are completely oblivious to him. We talk on the phone almost every week...I hear the same stories over and over again, the same complaints about the same few people in his limited social circle, the same rants about the world at large...

All in all, he's an awesome square peg who does not fit into the round hole.

All this is leading up to say, it's likely this guy had a friend or two who understood him, who he connected with, who thought well of him in spite of his social inability to connect to people at work.

None of us like everyone we meet or work with, some we're less, some we're more indifferent toward...it's up to each of us to deal with how we're perceived by our associates...some are more equal to the task than others, better able to associate with and interact with our fellows. Some are just hampered early on, whether you wish to attribute it to genetics or upbringing.

None of us can be all things to all people.

[Dan Morris]

Just try to pass it on to someone else......
Dan

[Viking350]

Dave...I have a friend like this guy...we've known each other over 30 years...he's socially awkward, with a somewhat off-puting personality, and no clue why he doesn't fit in...and the more he tries to fit in, the more confused he becomes as to social relationships. He's a good egg, very knowledgeable and intelligent on the subjects of his interest, but he's bereft of social interaction knowledge, and not likely to attain it any time soon...the nuances are completely oblivious to him. We talk on the phone almost every week...I hear the same stories over and over again, the same complaints about the same few people in his limited social circle, the same rants about the world at large...

All in all, he's an awesome square peg who does not fit into the round hole.

All this is leading up to say, it's likely this guy had a friend or two who understood him, who he connected with, who thought well of him in spite of his social inability to connect to people at work.

None of us like everyone we meet or work with, some we're less, some we're more indifferent toward...it's up to each of us to deal with how we're perceived by our associates...some are more equal to the task than others, better able to associate with and interact with our fellows. Some are just hampered early on, whether you wish to attribute it to genetics or upbringing.

None of us can be all things to all people.

Oswald, it sounds like you are describing my grandson. He has Asperger's syndrome.

[davepool]

Dave...I have a friend like this guy...we've known each other over 30 years...he's socially awkward, with a somewhat off-puting personality, and no clue why he doesn't fit in...and the more he tries to fit in, the more confused he becomes as to social relationships. He's a good egg, very knowledgeable and intelligent on the subjects of his interest, but he's bereft of social interaction knowledge, and not likely to attain it any time soon...the nuances are completely oblivious to him. We talk on the phone almost every week...I hear the same stories over and over again, the same complaints about the same few people in his limited social circle, the same rants about the world at large...

All in all, he's an awesome square peg who does not fit into the round hole.

All this is leading up to say, it's likely this guy had a friend or two who understood him, who he connected with, who thought well of him in spite of his social inability to connect to people at work.

None of us like everyone we meet or work with, some we're less, some we're more indifferent toward...it's up to each of us to deal with how we're perceived by our associates...some are more equal to the task than others, better able to associate with and interact with our fellows. Some are just hampered early on, whether you wish to attribute it to genetics or upbringing.

None of us can be all things to all people.

Yep, that describes Donny to a T.
I liked the guy, he was just annoying.

Thanks for the post.

[davepool]

Just try to pass it on to someone else......
Dan

I will, this is going to bring about a change in my attitude...

[studmuffin]

In both cases, sounds like mild autism.

[Helen Keller]

I like how everythings labeled as a syndrome or condition nowadays.
Not everybody is a social butterfly , or even wants to be.

Just because someone isn't marching to our dumbed down societies shitty drum doesnt make them any more or less than a person.

[studmuffin]

Social awkardness and even inappropriate social behavior can be symptoms of mild autism. Such people can lead functional productive lives, but are just socially out of step. I know a few folks like that. No worries. And sorry to hear about your friend dying so young.

[jakebrake]

dave, beating yourself up won't change a thing. is what it is.

that being said, maybe kind words will come to mind in the future for a few of us. it isn't always easy. we get so wrapped up in our own shit, that we just try to get that interaction over with.

measure your words folks...may be the last they ever hear, or you ever say.

all of our lives are ticking clocks.