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Thread: Very funny story and also very true.

  1. #1
    Team GunsNet Gold 03/2014

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    Very funny story and also very true.

    The State of Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife sends a letter to a home/landowner
    asking for permission to access a creek on their property to document the
    decline in a certain species of unheard of frogs.

    *****The homeowners response in the second letter is EPIC*****


    Letter
    From Oregon Dept. of Fish & Wildlife:

    Dear
    Landowner:

    ODFW Staff will be conducting surveys for foothill yellow-legged frogs
    & other amphibians over the next few months. As part of this
    research we would like to survey the creek on your property. I am writing
    this letter to request your permission to access your property.

    Recent research indicates that foothill yellow-legged frogs have declined
    significantly in recent years and are no longer found at half their historic
    sites. Your cooperation will be greatly appreciated and will help contribute
    to the conservation of this important species.

    Please fill out the attached postage-paid postcard and let us know if you
    are willing to let us cross your property or not.

    If you have any concerns about this project please give us a call. We would
    love to talk with you about our research.
    Sincerely

    Steve
    Niemela

    Conservation
    Strategy Implementation Biologist

    ********RESPONSE
    FROM LANDOWNERS: ********
    Dear Mr.
    Niemela:

    Thank you for your inquiry regarding accessing our property to survey for
    the yellow-legged frog. We may be able to help you out with this
    matter.

    We have divided our 2.26 acres into 75 equal survey units with a draw tag
    for each unit. Application fees are only $8.00 per unit after you purchase
    the “Frog Survey License” ($120.00 resident / $180.00 Non-Resident). You
    will also need to obtain a “Frog Habitat” parking permit ($10.00 per
    vehicle).

    You will also need an “Invasive Species” stamp($15.00 for the first
    vehicle and $5.00 for each add’l vehicle) You will also want to register at
    the Check Station to have your vehicle inspected for non-native plant life
    prior to entering our property.

    There is also a Day Use fee, $5.00 per vehicle.

    If you are successful in the Draw you will be notified two weeks in advance
    so you can make necessary plans and purchase your “Creek Habitat” stamp.
    ($18.00 Resident / $140.00 Non-Resident).

    Survey units open between 8am and 3pm but you cannot commence survey until 9am and must cease all survey activity by 1pm.


    Survey Gear can only include a net with a 2″ diameter made of 100% organic
    cotton netting with no longer than an 18″ handle, non-weighted and no deeper than 6′ from net frame to bottom of net. Handles can only be made of
    BPA-free plastics or wooden handles.

    After 1pm you can use a net with a 3″ diameter if you purchase the “Frog Net
    Endorsement” ($75.00 Resident / $250 Non-Resident). Any frogs captured that are released will need to be released with an approved release device back into the environment unharmed.

    As of June 1, we are offering draw tags for our “Premium Survey” units and
    application is again only $8.00 per application. However, all fees can be
    waives if you can verify “Native Indian Tribal rights and status.

    You will also need to provide evidence of successful completion of “Frog
    Surveys and You” comprehensive course on frog identification, safe handling
    practices, and self-defense strategies for frog attacks.

    This course is offered online through an accredited program for a nominal
    fee of $750.00.


    Please let us know if we can be of assistance to you. Otherwise, we decline
    your access to our property but appreciate your inquiry.

    Sincerely,

    Larry
    & Amanda Anderson.

  2. #2
    Team GunsNet Platinum 02/2015 davepool's Avatar

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    They need to add a deadline for application and fee submittal with appropriate penalties for late filing

  3. #3
    Team Guns Network Silver 04/2013 alismith's Avatar

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    You were right! EPIC!
    "Valar morghulis; valar dohaeris."

    Commucrats are most efficient at converting sins and crimes to accidents or misunderstandings.-Oswald Bastable

    Making good people helpless won't make bad people harmless.

    Freedom isn't free.

    "Attitude is the paintbrush that colors our world." TV Series, Haven.

    My Spirit Animal has rabies.

    I'd rather be an American than a Democrat.

    "If you can make a man afraid, you can control him" Netflix Series, The Irregulars

  4. #4
    Guns Network Contributor 01/2015 Altarboy's Avatar

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    That's about the measure of hoops through which we must sometimes have to jump.

  5. #5
    Administrator imanaknut's Avatar

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    Yep, just about right. That old "what's good for the goose" thingy.

  6. #6
    Team Guns Network Silver 04/2013 alismith's Avatar

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    The scary thing about this is if they did find that frog, they'd restrict the land owner's use of that land, basically making it so he couldn't do anything with it in the future.
    "Valar morghulis; valar dohaeris."

    Commucrats are most efficient at converting sins and crimes to accidents or misunderstandings.-Oswald Bastable

    Making good people helpless won't make bad people harmless.

    Freedom isn't free.

    "Attitude is the paintbrush that colors our world." TV Series, Haven.

    My Spirit Animal has rabies.

    I'd rather be an American than a Democrat.

    "If you can make a man afraid, you can control him" Netflix Series, The Irregulars

  7. #7
    **Team GunsNet SILVER 12/2014** skorpion's Avatar

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    That's pretty good.
    The pen is mightier than the sword, but only when you're shoving it through your enemy's throat.
    USMC Active Duty, 2004-2008
    Gunsnet Member since January 2003

  8. #8
    **Team GunsNet SILVER 12/2014** skorpion's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by alismith View Post
    The scary thing about this is if they did find that frog, they'd restrict the land owner's use of that land, basically making it so he couldn't do anything with it in the future.
    This. They would claim eminent domain on the land and turn it into an "access by permit only" nature preserve to protect the rare and elusive yellow-penis frog or whatever.

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