South Carolina Cops

[1 Patriot-of-many]

These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:


1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." (My Favorite)

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

[Schuetzenman]

Yep, some of those are pretty funny.

[Penguin]

Good to see some people still have sense of humour.

[FunkyPertwee]

I live in SC. When I was 19 I got caught doing 101 in a 65 MPH zone. The officer reduced the speed on the ticket to the maximum amount that would allow him to write a ticket and not take me to jail.

Another time I was clearly intoxicated and the several officers just sent me home (driving).

I got lucky a lot as a youngster. I don't do stupid shit anymore, so I guess the officers were right to cut me a break.

[dishman]

I live in SC. When I was 19 I got caught doing 101 in a 65 MPH zone. The officer reduced the speed on the ticket to the maximum amount that would allow him to write a ticket and not take me to jail.

Another time I was clearly intoxicated and the several officers just sent me home (driving).

I got lucky a lot as a youngster. I don't do stupid shit anymore, so I guess the officers were right to cut me a break.

as much as i bash cops...and i have every right to ...considering what i have been thru..i will say in my youth..i did get a few breaks and knew some very good cops...times change i suppose?

[mriddick]

My favorite.... "Why do you cops have to carry those big flashlights" (to the LEO sticking his D size mag light through the window of a car shining the light directly into the face of the kid driving). "This is why" (LEO as he thumps the head of the kid with the same flashlight). That happened about 1979 to a friend of mine :)

[TEN-32]

http://www.cpdmemorial.org/

[T2K]

I never got a warning when pulled over for speeding or anything else like that, always got a ticket.

BUT - I once passed a cop on the Cooper River Bridge in Charleston SC going 125mph. I was pretty drunk. Slowed down immediately, got in the right lane, and waited for the inevitable pullover. Which happened within seconds, as you can imagine. Actual Mount Pleasant, SC cop quote: "Jesus! How fast were you going? You nearly blew the damn decals off my doors!"

Did field sobriety tests well enough, and was told to get home and not drive anymore that night. So, that was a pretty big break which I appreciate. I've been a good driver ever since.

[FunkyPertwee]

I never got a warning when pulled over for speeding or anything else like that, always got a ticket.

BUT - I once passed a cop on the Cooper River Bridge in Charleston SC going 125mph. I was pretty drunk. Slowed down immediately, got in the right lane, and waited for the inevitable pullover. Which happened within seconds, as you can imagine. Actual Mount Pleasant, SC cop quote: "Jesus! How fast were you going? You nearly blew the damn decals off my doors!"

Did field sobriety tests well enough, and was told to get home and not drive anymore that night. So, that was a pretty big break which I appreciate. I've been a good driver ever since.

The old bridge or the new one? :)

My big speeding ticket was on the Don Holt bridge on 526.

[T2K]

One of the old bridges, the one coming back from downtown (bars) to Mt Pleasant (home).

[Krupski]

http://www.cpdmemorial.org/... the thin, almost invisible line has a hook and a sinker attached at the end... Officer 10-32 silently trolls up and down the river, waiting for the next fish to bite....

[TEN-32]

... the thin, almost invisible line has a hook and a sinker attached at the end... Officer 10-32 silently trolls up and down the river, waiting for the next fish to bite....

...and as surely as day follows night, a strike. :laugh:

[FunkyPertwee]

One of the old bridges, the one coming back from downtown (bars) to Mt Pleasant (home).

A lot of people don't know those bridges. Passing a cop at 125 mph should have made him shit himself. I'm imagining about four inches of clearance.

[Krupski]

...and as surely as day follows night, a strike. :laugh:

I don't worry because you always toss them back! :lool:

[Pikeman]

Sir, could you move your truck please. It's blocking my view of the no parking sign.


Yes Maam. I realize your GPS has the lates in satilite technology. I your right then I'm gona quit this job and sign up for the summer Olympics. I am a shoe in for the gold. But I am pretty sure that 65 on your screen is the speed limit of this highway and not how fast you are going now. Me being on foot and all.


Sir. We are running a special today. Every motorist that stops on the roadway to ask me directions gets a free Freightliner tattoo. Or you could pull onto the berm like I did.


Your correct young man. We dont have mobile radar in this state. We do have speedometers in every car. You may have noticed mine as you blew by.


Can't find your log book sir? Did you check the fiction section of your library?

Not really a quote but fun none the less..When you encounter one who claims not to habla the english Point off in the distance and say "Your zipper is down" If they check their zipper instead of scan the horizon You got them!