old Grump
07-16-2011, 10:38 PM
I can eat dinner anytime between noon and midnight without feeling guilty.
My investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
Kidnappers are not very interested in me anymore,
well they never were I guess.
It's near impossible to get charged with sexual harassment,
I can say whatever I want and get away with it.
I quit smoking 30 years ago, if I start again it won't have time
to hurt me.
People no longer view me as a hypochondriac, I can tell
them anything and one look at me they will believe it.
My secrets are safe with my surviving friends
because they can't remember them either.
My supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
My eyes can't get much worse......I hope.
Adult diapers are actually kind of convenient.
I'm pretty sure things I buy now won't wear out
before I am done with them.
No one expects me to run into a burning building,
or anywhere else for that matter.
There's nothing left to learn the hard way,
just trying to remember what I know.
My joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
(That one ain't even funny, it's really true.)
In a hostage situation I will be released first.
(never underestimate the influence of a full diaper)
My investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
Kidnappers are not very interested in me anymore,
well they never were I guess.
It's near impossible to get charged with sexual harassment,
I can say whatever I want and get away with it.
I quit smoking 30 years ago, if I start again it won't have time
to hurt me.
People no longer view me as a hypochondriac, I can tell
them anything and one look at me they will believe it.
My secrets are safe with my surviving friends
because they can't remember them either.
My supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
My eyes can't get much worse......I hope.
Adult diapers are actually kind of convenient.
I'm pretty sure things I buy now won't wear out
before I am done with them.
No one expects me to run into a burning building,
or anywhere else for that matter.
There's nothing left to learn the hard way,
just trying to remember what I know.
My joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
(That one ain't even funny, it's really true.)
In a hostage situation I will be released first.
(never underestimate the influence of a full diaper)