Please Pray for Me

[Mark Ducati]

Even though the internet is anonymous, for my Christian friends and friends of faith here... I would humbly ask that you keep me and my family in your prayers.

I'm going through a rough time with a personal issue right now and I would be grateful to be kept in your prayers.

The Lord said that were 2 or 3 gather in His name that He might be there with you too...

I truly believe in the power of prayer... only sometimes the Lord's will and answer is "No".

If that be His answer, I pray I am strong enough to accept His will.

[gpwasr10]

I hope everything works out man. Some of lifes curve balls can be real mother fuckers...

[El Duce]

Will do Mark.

[ATAK, Inc.]

Always and without hesitation Mark.

Just remember, You are never given more than you can handle, it just feels like it's impossible when dealt a hand of adversity.

[1 Patriot-of-many]

You got it. Prayers sent.

[btcave]

Will do Mark.

[coppertales]

with you..............................chris3

[Gunreference1]

Mark, prayers for you & your family!

Sincerely, Steve

[Krupski]

Even though the internet is anonymous, for my Christian friends and friends of faith here... I would humbly ask that you keep me and my family in your prayers.

I'm going through a rough time with a personal issue right now and I would be grateful to be kept in your prayers.

The Lord said that were 2 or 3 gather in His name that He might be there with you too...

I truly believe in the power of prayer... only sometimes the Lord's will and answer is "No".

If that be His answer, I pray I am strong enough to accept His will.

I'm not a very good Christian and God is probably pissed off at me... but I will pray for you anyway.

[blobman]

done mrk .....i could us eone myself

[arcangel]

These hard times will soon be over, and past. We will pray for you and your family too brother. Everything will work itself out. Good luck and God bless you friend.

[O.S.O.K.]

Prayers up Mark.

[Cypher]

It's always a good thing to pray for someone else. I truly believe in the power of prayer, I have experienced it many times, it's amazing how God work works in our lives. Every situation, even the worst you've been through is a chance to learn and grow closer to Jesus Christ.

These are some powerful versus that have brought me through many storms and valleys.


Psa 30:12 To the end that [my] glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever.

Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.

Luk 22:42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.

Eph 5:20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

[Schuetzenman]

You got em mark prayer sent.

[mushroom]

I will!!

[ltorlo64]

From me as well.

[Hobe Sound AK]

Ditto! Here.

[American Rage]

Best of luck, Mark.

[Gunner1558]

Prayers sent.

Hang in there.

[Prometheus168]

Prayers sent here and now Brother!

Rusty

[TEN-32]

Keep the faith!

[Altarboy]

Done bro.

[Bluntforce]

Done.

[cevulirn]

I'm only a couple hour ride away if there is anything I can do for ya.

[Partisan1983]

Prayers sent. Hang in there man.

[l921428x]

Sending

[rktman]

Done and :amen:

[slamfire51]

Prayers sent for you and family.

[abpt1]

You got it Mark.


Prayers Sent ...


Let us know if there is anything else we can do to help.

[was_peacemaker]

Prayers sent.

[old Grump]

Praying for you Mark, is there anything we can do for you?

[az_paul]

You and your family are in our prayers.

As I type this, my wife and I are 130 miles from home. She's in the hospital here and is hopefully recovering from major back surgery. As someone said, we all take curve balls from time-to-time. Hang tough!

[Schuetzenman]

Bumping this for Mark.

[copterdoctor]

Done

[PROBASCO]

readin this thread I could easily say your taken care of but one more couldn't hurt.

Getting older (almost 60) a song comes to mind "nobody knows the trouble I've seen"

remember what doesn't kill you makes you one mean MF. Godspeed in your journey

[Cypher]

Whatever happened to Mark, is he ok? Anyone know?

[1 Patriot-of-many]

Hope so.

[btcave]

Looks like he logged on in July. At least that indicates he is still above ground. Where there is life there is hope.

[abpt1]

Whatever happened to Mark, is he ok? Anyone know?

I spoke with him a few weeks ago . Hes alive and working through some stuff.

[vit]

Hoping all is well.

[abpt1]

Yeah Me too,

[printerman]

....will do !!!

[Schuetzenman]

I spoke with him a few weeks ago . Hes alive and working through some stuff.

Same here, he is alive and well. I plan to see him on the 27th of August if not earlier.

[Paradox]

Done !!!

[Mark Ducati]

Thank you for the prayers fellas,

Earlier this year my wife told me she wanted a divorce, I never saw it coming. As Christians (yes I know Christians get divorced too), she always said divorce is not an option and not in her vocabulary. We've had our fights like any other marriage, and always worked through them and made up, that's what marriage is and what husbands/wives do.

But I learned that she had 4 affairs on me between July 2011 and February 2012. The first one, she stayed out overnight until 11am not coming home, she and my sister went out to see a guy play at the local honky tonk. They came back home, she snuck back out to an "after party" at the bar owners house. She slept with the country singer that night. I've never seen her so hung over, found out later the bar owner is into "date rape" drugs and we think she was drugged that night. None the less, she didn't belong going back out in the first place like that. Second one, she slept with the bar owner who is bi-sexual. Third one, she slept with our nanny at the time boyfriend. Lastly, the guy she's been seeing since last summer... you can't make this stuff up. He's bi-sexual too! His ex-wife had an affair with him on her husband, she married him knowing he was bi-sexual, when he wouldn't change, she divorced him. It gets worse... my dental assistant is good friends with the respiratory therapist at the local hospital where he worked (computer stuff), he allegedly date raped her 19 y.o. gay son. The son isn't ready to come out of the closet in a small town, he also feels shame like many rape victims do, so no charges were ever made. The hospital fired him because of the friction between the mother and him. I've had many people tell me they all knew he was gay/bi, so he got his real estate license and also sells pot/pills on the side to make a little extra cash.

So, I was completely DEVASTED when I found all this out... I had to take some time out of the office to get some professional help to learn how to deal with all this.

Here's the sad part, I still want my wife back... how can I forgive her? I already have. My wife has had a habit of drinking a bottle of wine or two every night the last couple years and she's addicted to phentermine (meth in a pill) that she gets from her doctor for weight loss. I forgive her because I wouldn't leave her if she got cancer or mangled in a car wreck, and I'm not going to abandon her for the disease of alcoholism and addiction she has either.

This is what my current pastor and the pastor who married us told me... I'm not judging anybody else's marriage or divorce here, but I will share my beliefs. My pastors told me that when we married, the marriage certificate is just a piece of paper to fulfill man's law. TRUE marriage occurs when we take our vows before God's eyes and make a covenant with Him. By doing so, we honor and bring glory to Christ's marriage to His bride... the church. Moses permitted divorce for adultery because Israel's heart was so hardened, but that doesn't mean the bible condones it. She's got no scriptural reason to leave me, I have the one and only reason listed in the bible 4 times over. They said that God brought us together, we took vows and wed, started a life together, had two beautiful children and that it IS God's will that we stay married. God doesn't want to see any marriage fold, but we each have our own free will to follow His or not.

When I was out of town getting therapy and seeing my parents, she used that opportunity to serve me with a restraining order saying I threatened her if she ever left me. That NEVER happened, but the courts would rather be safe than sorry. She used that ploy to keep me out of my own office. I had a temp dentist filling in for me and she and the boyfriend tried to steal the office until my attorney told them that she never owned the office in the first place, its not a marital asset, as she's not a licensed dentist, only a dentist can own/operate/manage a practice in the state of Georgia. They thought they would keep the temp dentist full time and them collect the money and not have to work again.

Because of all this, Ive had to have visitation with my kids. And, I did something really stupid... we agreed to see a marriage counselor. First off, hear my state of mind at the time. When she told me she wanted a divorce, before I knew about the affairs, I quit drinking myself that night, quit taking my ambien to help me sleep, and stopped taking my single hydrocodone pill I take for my back pain after work. So, for two weeks I literally did not sleep with the stress I had, I stopped eating, I'm still working seeing patients, and I'm washing cars/doing housework/laundry/etc. in the middle of the night to show her I love her. I overheard her having a phone conversation with her cousin, she said she was only going to counseling to make herself look good for her family that she intended to serve me with divorce papers regardless. I lost it. I've never felt I was good enough for her from the day I met her, so I told her I was going to kill myself (this was an empty threat), I went to the garage and got my Glock out of my truck, I figured if she came out after me, she loved me and if she didn't come out, she didn't love me... well, she didn't come out. My hands were shaking so bad, my Glock has a 3.5lbs connector in it, I negligently shot the garage door. I know how stupid it was and that someone could have gotten hurt, fortunately I did have it pointed in a safe direction. This was my most desperate act to see if she loved me still.

We both got psych tested, and she admitted to the psychiatrist that she's an alcoholic, been an unfit mother going out partying leaving me with the kids while she did so and admitted to her affairs... the whole time I was gone, she had this guy sleep over at our house, they slept over at his house with my kids, been camping together, him driving my car... the psychiatrist put a stop to that saying that confuses the kids as to who their daddy is.

I've told her that I forgive her and want to reconcile and restore our marriage... but she's enamored with this goof who's overweight, unattractive... lets put it this way, they could share the same bra, and my wife is hot! I don't get it. He's into "swinging", I don't know it, but it wouldn't surprise me if she's into it too? Not that its right, but one affair I can understand something like that happening, but 4 in 8 months? My therapist thinks its because of the old "didn't your daddy love you?" argument, when she was growing up, her daddy was never present as he always worked, so she's always had a need to please men. And all the lies she's saying about me she does because whether conscious or subconscious, she feels terribly guilty about the affairs so she has to justify it by making me out to be a monster.

So, the divorce should be final in a couple months, I'm heart broken, cry every night, miss her and my children terribly... the kids are relatively okay, they try to please both mommy and daddy...

I'd appreciate it if you'd still keep me and my family in your prayers... I pray every day that God will change her, soften and convict her heart to do the right thing and turn from her sin.

God promises the believer his heart's desire if the believer is walking in obedience and if the request is in God's will... I've got ALL that going for me... God's answer will never be "no", it will be "yes", "Not now"... or "I have something better for you". If He doesn't restore my marriage, I pray He'll bring me a new woman to build a relationship built upon trust, love, and honesty.

Thanks fellas,
Mark

[Mark Ducati]

I really and sincerely appreciate all your prayers and well wishes... one thing this whole experience has taught me is how much of an ass I can be to others... money, houses, guns, vacations, sports cars... none of them mean anything to me anymore. What's important to me as it should have been all along is my family. I'm not the same person I was 6 months ago, and that's a good thing, that's why it kills me so that we could have a wonderful loving marriage if only she would try... if not, I know I have a lot to offer someone else. Much of my pride was due to my own lack of self worth not feeling I was good enough for her or anyone else, so I tried to buy her love and impress people with money and materialistic things... I think a lot of you saw that in my posts in the past. I'm truly sorry for being a selfish idiot here, I hope in future you will see my true heart and a better man.

God Bless,
Mark

[FunkyPertwee]

Incredible story. I am saddened to hear it.


To me it sounds like you primary goal should be obtaining custody of your children. Being raised by alcoholic swingers cannot be what you had in mind for them.

And seriously, DO NOT shoot yourself!

[rktman]

Mark, so sorry for your difficult time. You are a true man for handling it as well as you have.
I have a friend going through a very similar situation. This has to be the most screwed up time in the history of marriages.
I will keep praying for your situation.

[davepool]

Damn Mark, that took a lot of guts to bring that out in the open, you are truly a braver man than I, God bless you. I repeat what funky said DO NOT end your life, the world desperately needs more men like you.


Hang in there partner.

[Cypher]

Your story breaks my heart. Few things can ravage your mind like a spouse having an affair. Of course the best action is what you think the Lord is telling you to do but you shouldn't feel any guilt or sorrow for getting divorced or never getting back with your ex-wife. Custody of your kids should be the main thing in my opinion.

Everything in life happens for a reason, it can be very difficult to understand and we don't have to understand, we just have to have faith in Jesus Christ that he is the head and he is in control of all things. As a Christian no matter what the experience we can always learn something and grow closer to the Lord, like learning forgiveness when someone hurts you worse than you ever thought possible. Forgiving doesn't mean you have to get back together though.

[Richard Simmons]

Sorry to hear this Mark. No one can judge your path but yourself. I wish you all the best.

[ltorlo64]

Mark,
I had been wondering where you went. I am very sorry that you are having to go through this. You are being prayed for.

[Solidus-snake]

Really hate to hear this Mark, but I'm glad to be hearing from you again.

I have to agree with the others, the main thing now is to fight for custody of your children in my opinion. That is most certainly not a lifestyle they should be exposed to.

There is no way I could ever take her back were I in your shoes. But whatever happens, stay strong man, and remember that your kids will always need their father.

[mrkalashnikov]

Sorry to read of all your trials & tribulations, Mark.

I'm not much of a Bible scholar but I believe it's stated somewhere in the Good Book we are not to be given a heavier burden than we can possibly bear. I know from personal experience that is probably true. Hang in there, & keep your head up.

Hope to see you posting again here in the future.

[TEN-32]

Geez Mark, I'm so sorry to hear all this. You have been one of my "forum friends" over the years and I feel terrible about all this. I agree that you have handled things remarkably well so far with the one gun incident being the understandable exception. Don't beat yourself up any more. Get the best lawyer in your county and protect yourself and your kids. DO it now!

[Bluntforce]

Material success is nothing to be ashamed of, it means you have the means to provide well for your children.

Focus on them, they need you so you have to come through this for them.

We'll keep praying for you.

[El Jefe]

Yep, bet the farm on legal representation, get your children if you can, move on, don't look back. This one failed you, don't let her dick you further.

Gods speed, Mark!

[Oswald Bastable]

To me it sounds like you primary goal should be obtaining custody of your children. Being raised by alcoholic swingers cannot be what you had in mind for them.

This ^^^

Mark, I have one regret from my divorce...that I moved out and left the kids with her, that I didn't throw her sorry ass out and keep the kids. Long story, but there are similarities to yours...she became a party animal, different guys all the time, kids left with a baby sitter most of the time so she could go out and party. My kids did finally come to live with me full-time about 5 years later, but for the older one, the damage was already done. It took several years to turn the younger one around from a whiny little bitch, but she's now a great kid, in college, doing well. The older one, by the time they came to live with me, had a huge chip on his shoulder, continually hanging with a bad crowd, getting in trouble. And I saw them, had them at my house a couple or more nights a week the entire time they lived with her. They got a good example, in their time spent with me, help with homework, regular bedtimes and meals, parental attention and guidance (I never went out when they stayed with me, unless it was something we did together). With her, they got baby sitters, fended for themselves, new guys in their lives all the time. For my oldest, the bad example, and the fact that they spent slightly more time with her won out. Once they came to live with me, though the visitation schedule was supposed to reverse, she promptly moved out of state and they barely saw her for a couple years. When she moved back, she still barely saw them, would make arrangements to take them for a weekend, then not bother to call or show up.

Listen to me carefully Mark...get your kids! Do whatever you have to do to get them out of that situation and into a stable one with you, then be that stable factor in their life that they need, particularly right now. You'll regret it later if you don't.

[abpt1]

Good to see you man !

Best lesson I ever learned was the only unconditional love you will ever know is from your kids.....My kids are really all that matters in life, jobs, wife's and things come and go ....

[Punk]

Holy cow, her rampant infidelity had to be a huge shock, sounds like you are pulling yourself together now though. Now do what the others have told you, that is get the best lawyer you can afford and get custody of your kids.

[Full Otto]

be that stable factor in their life that they need, particularly right now.

This is key no matter how the final settlement shakes out. Custody or not you have to maintain that.
You can't if you are still pining away. Find yourself in all this, you want things back to normal, that's understandable but that normal is gone no matter how you cut it.
Learn to do for yourself before hoping another woman or the old one coming back will fix everything.
Find your steel man it's there, get up and start standing strong right now she's playing you.
Focus on what you gotta do not on "if only's"

[Schuetzenman]

Mark buddy, hang in there. Like the others have said, get your kids they deserve a stabil loving parent. Your wife in my uneducated opinion is bonkers, attacted to flash over substance. Keep in touch, call if you need somebody to talk to, you have my number.

[El Duce]

Mark, great advice from everyone that posted after you. Listen to it. I wish that I could add to it. But, it has all been pretty much said. Missed you. And have been praying.

[l921428x]

follow your faith and wits, they will serve you well.

[old Grump]

And you can have my number if you need it. I had a very similar situation hence the name Old Grump. Nuff said, I know where you are at mentally and emotionally right now and it took a lot of good people to get me back up to where I cared enough to keep going.

[1 Patriot-of-many]

I'm so sorry Mark. I'm seeing/seen an ugly situation in my next door area. Dirtbag former friend cheated on his wife, got caught, he got everything and is still living next door to me playing the disability game while dreaming up ways to screw over our still friend. Uses the kids even against her while it was entirely his fault. Somehow he's the victim that he got caught. Prepare yourself. It's going to get real dirty. I sincerely hope she just moves on and you can negotiate in good faith and get sole custody.
You will find the right person. I'm sorry she wasn't the right person, something I hope you've figured out. In my neighbors case, she now has one of the best guys I've ever seen, makes us all look bad in the way he treats her! You'll find the same in time.
Wish I could help more, I truly don't understand why anyone would not honor their vows, guess that's the failure in humans.

[Mark Ducati]

Thanks fellas,

I'm seeing a new therapist now who's helping me to accept the divorce and to move on letting her go... its not easy at all. 14 years together and an 8 and 5 year old. My children ore the best thing that came out of our marriage. I had to have supervised visits with the the kids for 6 weeks, now its unsupervised 5-7 on Monday nights and 10-4 on Saturdays, next week Saturdays go 10-6, then in 4 weeks of that I then start getting them over night. After that, I start getting them more regularly.

One thing I was hesitant to tell you after the gunshot incident, we go to the marriage counselor the next day, and apparently my wife had already talked to her on the phone... she started getting on to me about my meds. I don't know if you remember or not, but about 12 years ago I had a motorcycle accident and hurt my back (not good for a dentist). The last couple years, I've had to take some hydrocodone for my back pain and ambien to help me sleep with my insomnia. I've got no reason to lie or down play it, but I take 1 (sometimes 2) hydrocodone pills when I get home from work and an ambien to help me sleep at night. So, the counselor starts getting on to me asking if I ever double up taking 4-5 pills, I said no, she asked if I run out early of my Rx, I said no how am I going to do that when I just told you I don't take more than prescribed, then she asks if I ever shoot/snort or take it recatally, WTF? The answer was no. She said anybody who takes pain meds more than a couple months usually has a problem and that I should think about getting treatment. I did not abuse it! So we get home and my wife insists that if I want to save my marriage that I needed to go to treatment. So, I went to rehab for 100 days. The counselors said that if I'm telling them the truth about my use (and I did, they even gave me a psych test to see if I was lying), they said that I don't fit the profile of a typical substance abuser and asked why I was there. I said it was to save my marriage. I later learned after about the affairs, that this was my wife and boyfriend's plan to get me out of the office and out of town so that they could try and steal the office from me. The truth is, I'm not the one who needed rehab... my wife did, and still does. The night she didn't come home until the next morning, my mother told her she had a problem and needed rehab and my wife agreed. She even recently admitted to the court appointed psychiatrist that she's an alcoholic and an unfit mother leaving the kids with me while she went out and partied. When I learned all this, I decided to leave treatment... even though I went voluntarily and could leave voluntarily, they told me that if I left that they would have to notify the board of dentistry of my stay. I said that they said I didn't have a huge problem, so why tell them? They said that even though I came voluntarily, signing myself in is an "admission" that I have a problem and that ethically they have to tell the board, so I had to stick it out the entire time knowing my wife was cheating and trying to get the office. The whole time there, I didn't get one phone call/letter/card/photo/artwork, nothing from my kids. I didn't get to see them for almost 5 months because of that and the restraining order she served me with, even though the order was unfounded. She served me with a restraining order saying I threatened to harm her if she ever left me, that NEVER happened. I've never laid a hand on her. She got the restraining order to keep me out of my own office while she juggled the books, she even stole the quick books computer out of the office. With mediation I'm back in the office full time now, been back since July and she's out of the office. My attorney made her attorney aware that she never owned the office and legally cant own the office as she's not a licensed dentist, she's just a hygienist.

I'm embarrassed to say I went to rehab, yes I drink too much from time to time and use it to relax and numb myself to my problems, but I certainly didn't need to go to rehab. Truth is, my wife's the one who needs it.

So, because I shot the gun and went to rehab, and even though she admitted she's got a problem and is/was an unfit mother, I am on a graduated visitation schedule with the kids... My kids took to me like I never left when I finally got to see them. They miss their daddy and it breaks my heart.

All I can do is pray for her and for my children... I miss the touch of her skin, the smell of her hair, I miss just being with her, the old Amanda, she's still there, she's just covered up with sin right now. I saw a quote today that says "When my arms can't reach people who are close to my heart, I always hug them with my prayers".

Now you guys know the whole story. I'd do ANYTHING to save my marriage, my family, and my children's childhood.

Lord, please strengthen me, grant me peace and serenity.

[Bluntforce]

Focus on the kids and yourself.

Amanda will straighten out or not in her and God's time. Until she straightens out don't be alone with her, the courts/police will take her word over yours. You can't be compromised, your children need you too much.

Keep yourself safe, free and working. Your kids need that. Stay away from that bastard boyfriend of hers, if there is a life insurance policy with your wife as beneficiary CHANGE IT and LET THEM KNOW that it has been done. There was recently a famous case here in OK where a man knew his wife and her boyfriend were trying to kill him for his policy. He's dead, they're locked up and the kids are with his parents. Don't end up like him!

[308]

Thanks fellas,

I'm seeing a new therapist now who's helping me to accept the divorce and to move on letting her go... its not easy at all. 14 years together and an 8 and 5 year old. My children ore the best thing that came out of our marriage. I had to have supervised visits with the the kids for 6 weeks, now its unsupervised 5-7 on Monday nights and 10-4 on Saturdays, next week Saturdays go 10-6, then in 4 weeks of that I then start getting them over night. After that, I start getting them more regularly.

One thing I was hesitant to tell you after the gunshot incident, we go to the marriage counselor the next day, and apparently my wife had already talked to her on the phone... she started getting on to me about my meds. I don't know if you remember or not, but about 12 years ago I had a motorcycle accident and hurt my back (not good for a dentist). The last couple years, I've had to take some hydrocodone for my back pain and ambien to help me sleep with my insomnia. I've got no reason to lie or down play it, but I take 1 (sometimes 2) hydrocodone pills when I get home from work and an ambien to help me sleep at night. So, the counselor starts getting on to me asking if I ever double up taking 4-5 pills, I said no, she asked if I run out early of my Rx, I said no how am I going to do that when I just told you I don't take more than prescribed, then she asks if I ever shoot/snort or take it recatally, WTF? The answer was no. She said anybody who takes pain meds more than a couple months usually has a problem and that I should think about getting treatment. I did not abuse it! So we get home and my wife insists that if I want to save my marriage that I needed to go to treatment. So, I went to rehab for 100 days. The counselors said that if I'm telling them the truth about my use (and I did, they even gave me a psych test to see if I was lying), they said that I don't fit the profile of a typical substance abuser and asked why I was there. I said it was to save my marriage. I later learned after about the affairs, that this was my wife and boyfriend's plan to get me out of the office and out of town so that they could try and steal the office from me. The truth is, I'm not the one who needed rehab... my wife did, and still does. The night she didn't come home until the next morning, my mother told her she had a problem and needed rehab and my wife agreed. She even recently admitted to the court appointed psychiatrist that she's an alcoholic and an unfit mother leaving the kids with me while she went out and partied. When I learned all this, I decided to leave treatment... even though I went voluntarily and could leave voluntarily, they told me that if I left that they would have to notify the board of dentistry of my stay. I said that they said I didn't have a huge problem, so why tell them? They said that even though I came voluntarily, signing myself in is an "admission" that I have a problem and that ethically they have to tell the board, so I had to stick it out the entire time knowing my wife was cheating and trying to get the office. The whole time there, I didn't get one phone call/letter/card/photo/artwork, nothing from my kids. I didn't get to see them for almost 5 months because of that and the restraining order she served me with, even though the order was unfounded. She served me with a restraining order saying I threatened to harm her if she ever left me, that NEVER happened. I've never laid a hand on her. She got the restraining order to keep me out of my own office while she juggled the books, she even stole the quick books computer out of the office. With mediation I'm back in the office full time now, been back since July and she's out of the office. My attorney made her attorney aware that she never owned the office and legally cant own the office as she's not a licensed dentist, she's just a hygienist.

I'm embarrassed to say I went to rehab, yes I drink too much from time to time and use it to relax and numb myself to my problems, but I certainly didn't need to go to rehab. Truth is, my wife's the one who needs it.

So, because I shot the gun and went to rehab, and even though she admitted she's got a problem and is/was an unfit mother, I am on a graduated visitation schedule with the kids... My kids took to me like I never left when I finally got to see them. They miss their daddy and it breaks my heart.

All I can do is pray for her and for my children... I miss the touch of her skin, the smell of her hair, I miss just being with her, the old Amanda, she's still there, she's just covered up with sin right now. I saw a quote today that says "When my arms can't reach people who are close to my heart, I always hug them with my prayers".

Now you guys know the whole story. I'd do ANYTHING to save my marriage, my family, and my children's childhood.

Lord, please strengthen me, grant me peace and serenity.

A Christian who gets a divorce. Sounds familiar. It's almost 3-years for me now. Back then, before, I 'thought' I was a Christian...went to church, said the right things, blah, blah, blah. Last year (August 2010) when I was at the end of my rope, I stumbled upon...well, actually now I know that God lead me to the Genesis Process and my life has changed completely.

You are going to face the fire for a while my brother...the time is near and your Father is calling you back. Just let it happen and give ALL CONTROL to Him...you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Like HDR used to quote; For those who have been there, not explanation is needed. For those who haven't, no explanation will suffice.

Don't do anything out of fear or panic right now. Give it to God as best you can, let go of YOUR control and keep your attention to Him as it should be. Bottom line is this (ponder this one truthfully)...THE ONLY THING YOU OR I CAN CONTROL IS OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD.

I'll be around.
D

[btcave]

Damn.

A marriage covenent with God is only good until one person breaks it and walks away. Now it's not even valid in Gods eyes. You are in the clear my friend. Keep the faith and you will be lead to green pastures once more.

Brian

[FunkyPertwee]

Do what you have to do, but put your kids first even at the expense of your wife.

You have to save your kids from that situation, even if you have to say fuck your wife. Let the bitch rot, just protect the fucking kids.

[Bluntforce]

just protect the fucking kids.

You have to be alive, free and working to do that. Don't think for a second your life is assured. Drive a car/truck instead of a motorcycle. My brother rode one for 30 years and got killed in five seconds. His youngest was one year out of high school. When they grow up, get back on a death sled 'til then drive something that isn't a guaranteed grave filler.

Watch your back and change the beneficiaries on your will and life insurance policies!

[skipme56]

Mark first of all just let me say I am sorry that you are going through this time of trouble. I know that you don't know me but you are in pain that I can see. I too have been through something very similar to you, not once but twice. My first wife was very untrue to me, and with her I had two sons, one 4 years and the other 8 years. She went insane and told everybody I was beating her on a regular basis which I had not been at all, because I was taught not to hit a woman. In her infidelity she was in the company of a man that was so dumb he could not wright his own name without help, plus he only bathed once a weak but he was big and twice as strong as I was and she knew she had protection from me (which she didn't need). The pain was more than I wanted bear, it was worse than any other pain I had endured to that point, and I had had broken a lot of bones by this time but the pain of loosing my wife and two sons was more than I was mentally prepared for at the ripe old age of 28. But the longer it went I saw her make mistake after mistake and I wrote it all down, and finally I got my day in court and both boys were now mine.
For the next 14 years I was a single daddy raising two boys on his own, one of the proudest times of my life. I put all of my wants and desires on hold until my sons became of age to move out on their own and become self dependent adults and then I started dating again.
I had a very good blue collar job that paid higher than most white collar jobs in the area and I had money invested, and after 14 years of saving I had a very good nest egg set aside. I dated for about five more years looking for miss right, and all of a sudden here she was. She was nice , sweet, good family values.
We were married about six months and then the truth reared it's ugly head, I was now married to a woman with seven different people inside of one body. This woman would have a bad dream and wake me up screaming and punching me because she was dreaming I was being mean to her in the dream.
Then there was her two gangsta sons, in and out of "kiddy jail" as they called it. Those two caused as much trouble as they could, the oldest needed a job so I went to a man I knew and got him a very good job with above average pay. One would think since he had a job, a wife and a a newborn he would settle down, but to no avail he took my S&w 59 and robbed the man I had put trust in him.
Needless to say I got the blame for that.
She was even more unfaithful than my first wife,plus she told the cops and the judge that I was in the mob and was a hit man for the aforementioned. I lost all my rights until they figured out if what she said was true, no guns, no going to gun shows,no knives and no leaving town until I got a singed letter from the judge to go with his permission, and no drivers license, not to mention the endless open ex parte against me.
I had over one hundred fifty thousand dollars in investments at this time and had to use it up just clearing my good name, plus she already went through my 401k which was about thirty eight thousand just because she had to have her nails done and her hair professionally cut and getting her kids out of trouble with the law.
I was with her only four years and it seemed like four hundred years, not easy living with seven different woman in one body! Worst time of my life until my parents died.
Now here I was financially broke,mentally exhausted,and spirit broken.
I thought why Lord, why me? What did I do to deserve all this misfortune in my life. I knew I must have been a real a-hole somewhere down the line to deserve all this misfortune.
In the middle of two wives I was engaged to beautiful woman that could not leave the alcohol and the pot alone and other men, which ended in one heck of a bad fight for which I wound up in jail for supposedly beating her, which I never laid a wrongful hand on this woman. I had even left to cool off and sill got popped for a crime I didn't commit.
I was destined to live my life alone. Like the old saying "A man is born alone, he lives alone and he shall die alone".
I thought I was the only one this ever happened too, I was the one God picked out to "do this to" But I found out I was not, it wasn't entirely my fault.
I am now married to wonderful lady, she likes guns, she hates obummer, she works hard, above all she is my best buddy in the world!
You are not the only one to go through this, you won't be the last. My dads favorite advice to to me was, this too shall pass, but only if you give it to God and let him handle it. I did and he did his part. I had to want the help and I had to trust in the Lord my God to lead me into the path that would take me to the right answer.
I have never related these stories to anybody that was outside my immediate family, now the whole internet will know but I needed to tell you so you know that you are not alone, others have been through it and survived the ordeal.
Some will call me a liar for saying this, the grammar Nazis will have a field day with it, but I don't care about them, I didn't do this to get attention, I just want you know that others have survived it and you can too, but you have to get your head on right and get squared away. Keep sharp, you have two wonderful children to live for.
You will not be asked to pay for your wife's sins when it comes time to meet your maker, which hopefully is a long time away!
I am fifty six and been through a lot in my life, but I made it to a better life and you will too.
May God be with you every step of the way in your journeys for he has a better plan for you down the road, it just takes your passion and will to carry on down that road.
If You need to chat, all u have to do is ask and I will listen.
Gods speed.It will get better.

[Mark Ducati]

OMG!!! I learned some horrible news today! It's bad enough my wife is with a bisexual man, I thought she was in denial about it because when I asked her if she knew about him
, she said she didnt want to comment about it because she didn't want it brought up in court... I now know why she wouldn't say anything... She's into it too! From a reliable source, she's been bringing men into our marital home to have sex with them in our marital bed and the bisexual boyfriend likes to watch!!!

When I was td this today, I just stood there shaking and almost threw up. I don't know how much more of this I can take, it's so hard to be strong for my children.

[Bluntforce]

Get your will and life insurance in order! They already tried to steal your business. You are an excellent candidate for murder.

Stop digging into her adultery. She has a taste for the depraved and disgusting. Stop putting those pictures of the mother of your children doing that fucked-up shit in your mind. Yes, it all flashed through all our minds and yes I have an ex that got with a bi-fag boy so I know of what I speak.

The world has an endless supply of 'Fuck You', seek it and you shall find it in bushels and tidal waves. Stop doing that shit to yourself.

Secure your assets, set them up in trust for your children, watch your back, drive four wheeled vehicles and stop seeking details because you'll get them. Use what you have in court if your lawyer says it will help, if he says 'don't', DON'T!

Seriously, watch your ass! And stop torturing yourself over hers.

Drive carefully and remember to and from your vehicle or inside her place are your most likely spots at which to be ambushed. Take your pistol to the bathroom when you shit, shower or shave.

You need to move from hurt to angry ASAP, before you get in a car wreck or get jumped.

Secure the assets, it'll give you something to do besides contemplate the enormity of what she's done.

[btcave]

Get your will and life insurance in order! They already tried to steal your business. You are an excellent candidate for murder.

Stop digging into her adultery. She has a taste for the depraved and disgusting. Stop putting those pictures of the mother of your children doing that fucked-up shit in your mind. Yes, it all flashed through all our minds and yes I have an ex that got with a bi-fag boy so I know of what I speak.

The world has an endless supply of 'Fuck You', seek it and you shall find it in bushels and tidal waves. Stop doing that shit to yourself.

Secure your assets, set them up in trust for your children, watch your back, drive four wheeled vehicles and stop seeking details because you'll get them. Use what you have in court if your lawyer says it will help, if he says 'don't', DON'T!

Seriously, watch your ass! And stop torturing yourself over hers.

Drive carefully and remember to and from your vehicle or inside her place are your most likely spots at which to be ambushed. Take your pistol to the bathroom when you shit, shower or shave.

You need to move from hurt to angry ASAP, before you get in a car wreck or get jumped.

Secure the assets, it'll give you something to do besides contemplate the enormity of what she's done.

This is sound advice. Heed Blunts words.

[Schuetzenman]

In some ways this all is sounding familiar. I had an older first cousin that was married for a long time to one man and then one day she ran off with another guy. Turned out that she hadn't been paying any bills and her carpenter husband about lost everything due to all the bills not being paid and her cleaning out the bank accounts before she left, maxed out all the CC's as well. About a year and and a half later it was discovered she had a brain tumor that was in operable due to size and location. She was gone about 6 months after diagnoses.

If your wife was normal in behavior and now she's like a totally different person, boozing it up alone isn't going to do that IMO. She may have a serious problem mentally which could be caused by a tumor or maybe even a cancer of the brain. Either way if she keeps drinking and speeding she's going to burn out soon and assume room temperature. You need to keep strong and healthy as your kids may not have a Mother for long.

[Cypher]

This is sound advice. Heed Blunts words.

I agree.

Its hard and may seem impossible now but you have to get to a point that you don't care about her, what she does or how she acts. Water off a ducks back, put on a Teflon shirt and don't let anything stick, I know how hard it can be and wish I would have learned that when I was a lot younger. You will torment yourself if you keep letting yourself get hurt over her. If I were in your shoes I would never even consider getting back with her after what she has done to you and your kids.

Let your life revolve around your relationship with Jesus Christ, everything else will fall into place.

[O.S.O.K.]

Mark, posted this yesterday and for some reason it didn't stick - maybe I hit preview... anyway, prayers up man. And I totally agree with those saying to get your kids. Get a really good lawyer and figure out how to get them and keep your wife from getting any kind of visitation. Then, move your practice to another far away place. If you don't, this will haunt you for the rest of your life - more than it has to.

Hang in there. Things will get better.

[Mark Ducati]

Update:

I had a 2 hour phone conversation with my wife last night... the divorce is supposed to go through Nov 1st. Last night she said that she's seeing a lot of the red flags that everyone has been saying about the gay guy she's with... She adamantly said that they never were into swinging, and that he has been telling her that he's gone straight and all the bisexual stuff was him experimenting in his 20's. I think she's now seeing that he's been lying about it and that he's recently been going both ways before they hooked up. She even said last night that there have been many times where she almost picked up the phone to call me and tell me to just come home :-)

I still don't expect we'll get back together and that the divorce will go through, but you never know... as Nov 1st draws closer its getting real for her now, and I think she may be having second thoughts. So PLEASE keep her and us in your prayers. You just never know.

[Diesel]

Update:

I had a 2 hour phone conversation with my wife last night... the divorce is supposed to go through Nov 1st. Last night she said that she's seeing a lot of the red flags that everyone has been saying about the gay guy she's with... She adamantly said that they never were into swinging, and that he has been telling her that he's gone straight and all the bisexual stuff was him experimenting in his 20's. I think she's now seeing that he's been lying about it and that he's recently been going both ways before they hooked up. She even said last night that there have been many times where she almost picked up the phone to call me and tell me to just come home :-)

I still don't expect we'll get back together and that the divorce will go through, but you never know... as Nov 1st draws closer its getting real for her now, and I think she may be having second thoughts. So PLEASE keep her and us in your prayers. You just never know.

When its over...it's over so get over it. Take her back? Are you kidding? They are a treacherous breed who must make real life decisions and they often fail...as for the gender challenged...well, at least you have something to laugh at.

I've been married seven (7) times, love them all as much as I ever did but don't have to support any of them...yes there are kids, good kids and I'm proud of them...bless their mothers!

In the US we practice polygamy...serial polygamy...can't imagine having more than one at a time...so get over the treacherous bitch and get a life.

Diesel 8888888

[mrkalashnikov]

I've been married seven (7) times, love them all as much as I ever did but don't have to support any of them...yes there are kids, good kids and I'm proud of them...bless their mothers!
Diesel 8888888

Holy smoke....you've been married 7 times?? What are you trying to do, beat Mickey Rooney's record? ;)

I'be been hitched to the same woman for almost 30 yrs now & just that one's almost done me in. ;)

[Diesel]

Holy smoke....you've been married 7 times?? What are you trying to do, beat Mickey Rooney's record? ;)

I'be been hitched to the same woman for almost 30 yrs now & just that one's almost done me in. ;)

I am soooooo sorry. But cheer up, you'll be all right maybe, I think, hope, all that stuff. You'll get no criticism from me...I didn't plan it that way, thought I'd be married to he same one 'forever' and, well, the time I spent with each of them seemed like 'forever.'

Diesel 88888888

[Bluntforce]

Update:

I had a 2 hour phone conversation with my wife last night... the divorce is supposed to go through Nov 1st. Last night she said that she's seeing a lot of the red flags that everyone has been saying about the gay guy she's with... She adamantly said that they never were into swinging, and that he has been telling her that he's gone straight and all the bisexual stuff was him experimenting in his 20's. I think she's now seeing that he's been lying about it and that he's recently been going both ways before they hooked up. She even said last night that there have been many times where she almost picked up the phone to call me and tell me to just come home :-)

I still don't expect we'll get back together and that the divorce will go through, but you never know... as Nov 1st draws closer its getting real for her now, and I think she may be having second thoughts. So PLEASE keep her and us in your prayers. You just never know.

Do what you want about the wife, you've heard everybody on it and you're going to do what you will.

Watch out for this fucking pervert. He has already tried to steal your life's work and his sexual deviance speaks for his mental stability and decision making processes (i.e. he's crazy and has shit for brains). It's the dumb bastard that will kill you, the clever bastards know they will get caught.

This schmuck may be all kinds of delusional about your wife but he can already taste your money. Hopefully you've removed the wife from all the life insurance policies and let them know it to remove incentive to kill you. If/when you reconcile/re-unite KEEP it that way.

Don't paint dollars signs and crosshairs on yourself. Until you have financially separated, that crazy fruit has a double motive to off you. After the payday goes away he's still a mental cockchugger that you should keep an eye out for.

Take care of the assets, take care of the kids, watch your ass-then worry about moving on, reconciliation, getting TFO of there (which is an EXCELLENT suggestion btw).

Remember, you can't help the kids from jail, the poorhouse or the cemetery.

[TEN-32]

Update:

I had a 2 hour phone conversation with my wife last night... the divorce is supposed to go through Nov 1st. Last night she said that she's seeing a lot of the red flags that everyone has been saying about the gay guy she's with... She adamantly said that they never were into swinging, and that he has been telling her that he's gone straight and all the bisexual stuff was him experimenting in his 20's. I think she's now seeing that he's been lying about it and that he's recently been going both ways before they hooked up. She even said last night that there have been many times where she almost picked up the phone to call me and tell me to just come home :-)

I still don't expect we'll get back together and that the divorce will go through, but you never know... as Nov 1st draws closer its getting real for her now, and I think she may be having second thoughts. So PLEASE keep her and us in your prayers. You just never know.

No. She didn't just all of a sudden decide to be honest. No.

[slamfire51]

Mark,
It's a sad situation indeed.
I have been through a marriage such as yours. I found out after many attempts to resolve our problems that all was in vain. Once a woman/man crosses that threshold of cheating, they never really change back to the way they were before. REMEMBER THIS!
My advice from experience is to get the kids if possible, and put this nightmare behind you. Time does heal, and finding another woman that is trustworthy is a priority for you especially after some healing time. A year from now, you will see what I say is true.
Take care of your kids and yourself. God speed be with you.

[Cypher]

Do what you want about the wife, you've heard everybody on it and you're going to do what you will.

Watch out for this fucking pervert. He has already tried to steal your life's work and his sexual deviance speaks for his mental stability and decision making processes (i.e. he's crazy and has shit for brains). It's the dumb bastard that will kill you, the clever bastards know they will get caught.

This schmuck may be all kinds of delusional about your wife but he can already taste your money. Hopefully you've removed the wife from all the life insurance policies and let them know it to remove incentive to kill you. If/when you reconcile/re-unite KEEP it that way.

Don't paint dollars signs and crosshairs on yourself. Until you have financially separated, that crazy fruit has a double motive to off you. After the payday goes away he's still a mental cockchugger that you should keep an eye out for.

Take care of the assets, take care of the kids, watch your ass-then worry about moving on, reconciliation, getting TFO of there (which is an EXCELLENT suggestion btw).

Remember, you can't help the kids from jail, the poorhouse or the cemetery.

I would be extremely concerned about this guy being anywhere near your kids also.

[Diesel]

I would be extremely concerned about this guy being anywhere near your kids also.

Truly, this is why G-d made guns.

Diesel 88888888

[slamfire51]

Update:

I had a 2 hour phone conversation with my wife last night... the divorce is supposed to go through Nov 1st. Last night she said that she's seeing a lot of the red flags that everyone has been saying about the gay guy she's with... She adamantly said that they never were into swinging, and that he has been telling her that he's gone straight and all the bisexual stuff was him experimenting in his 20's. I think she's now seeing that he's been lying about it and that he's recently been going both ways before they hooked up. She even said last night that there have been many times where she almost picked up the phone to call me and tell me to just come home :-)

I still don't expect we'll get back together and that the divorce will go through, but you never know... as Nov 1st draws closer its getting real for her now, and I think she may be having second thoughts. So PLEASE keep her and us in your prayers. You just never know.

Mark, I missed this post somehow.
Her second thoughts come too late. Don't fall for this in any way or manner. It is a common ploy when the other sees their advantage waning. She is smart enough to have seen the consequences before she did what she did.

If you think your heart has been ripped out now by her actions, the second and time will be worse. Do as others said, get your kids, secure your finances, and above all, watch your back.

[Richard Simmons]

Regardless of what you think or feel or think you feel, sometimes you just have to walk away and never look back.

[slamfire51]

Regardless of what you think or feel or think you feel, sometimes you just have to walk away and never look back.

I think this sums up all that's been posted, and I agree Richard.

[308]

Do what you want about the wife, you've heard everybody on it and you're going to do what you will...

That about sums it up.
Posting this BS on the inNerweb is MD's limbic system dragging him around.
MD knows who he should be taking this to, and it isn't us.

Mark...get involved with the Genesis Process (http://www.genesisprocess.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1:what-is-the-genesis-process&catid=12:homepage&Itemid=1)
You will thank me later.


...or just ignore.