Customer Complaints

[old Grump]

Why won't they leave me alone?


I went to O'hare and boarded United flight 112 with my six kids.

After the flight attendant and I got them settled in their seats

a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over and asked me,

"Are all of those kids yours?"

I replies with a straight face, "No Ma'am, I work for the Durex Condom Company.

These are customer complaints!”


We left Chicago 3 hours later on AMTRAK out of the Dearborn station.

[TheMrMitch]

Went to dinner with my wife and two kids along with neighbor wife and her three.
Waitress remarked something about them being "ours".

I replied two are hers, pointing to my wife, three are hers, pointing to neighbor and all are mine.
Sure got some stares.

[old Grump]

Bet it ticked the funny bone and made dinner taste better. :rotflmbao:

[tank_monkey]

Durex? I thought I was back in Britain for a second. I notice that NOW, British made Durex products are being sold here but it's been a long time. Trojan and other US Brands dominated the condom market for years.

So Durex finally penetrated the US Market. Cheeky Brits.

[old Grump]

You haven't been down that aisle lately huh?

[old Grump]

January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.


February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....

Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer!!!

March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....

Box said ' 2-4 years!'

April
Trapped on escalator for hours ....

Power went out!!!

May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....

8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June
Tried to go water skiing.......

Couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....

Learned later that the other swimmers cheated- they used their arms!!!

August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....

Darn car filled up with water because convertible top was open.

September
The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it???

October
Hate M & M's....They are so hard to peel.

November
Baked Thanksgiving turkey for 4 1/2 days ...

Instructions said bake 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December
Couldn't call 911.

'Duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!!!

[gpwasr10]

You haven't been down that aisle lately huh?
Ohhhhh BURN!

[tank_monkey]

Ohhhhh BURN!
Uh, no. I'm just surprised that Old Grump goes down that aisle. ;)

Also, I KNOW Durex has penetrated the market for some time now. It was just that they were a British only product for so long, it takes a while for me to adjust. Last time I looked, my supply was Trojan which is 100% American made, thank you very much.

[raxar]

Uh, no. I'm just surprised that Old Grump goes down that aisle. ;)




its the same aisle where they stock his Metamucil...

[old Grump]

And right around the corner they have canes and elderstatesmen undergarments. :naughty:

[tank_monkey]

And right around the corner they have canes and elderstatesmen undergarments. :naughty:

Damn! You're RIGHT! Why do they put the condoms right next to the old folks stuff? Kinda weird don't you think? Or are they trying to do that "Celebrate the wonderful circle of LIFE, bullshit"...... :D

(i.e. a certain percentage of these condoms will fail, so there ya go!) ;)