Pay the TSA $85 for Quick, Fondle-Free Airport Screening

[5.56NATO]

If you’re fed up with long lines, full-body scanners, and the occasional cavity search, the TSA will give you a pass for $85 and a background check.

Up until now, the Transportation Safety Administration only offered its PreCheck expedited screening to frequent fliers of specific airlines, Global Entry members, and a few other pre-screening services. That allows “trusted travelers” at participating airports to skip the line, keep their shoes, belts and jackets on, and leave liquids and laptops in their bags.

Beginning this fall, everyone can get in on the TSA PreCheck bandwagon by filling out an online application, providing a verified form of I.D., getting fingerprinted at one of the TSA’s satellite centers, and cutting the federal agency a check for $85. After two to three weeks, you’ll get a “Known Traveler Number” that you’ll input whenever you book a flight, and it’s good for five years.

http://www.wired.com/autopia/2013/07/tsa-precheck/

[rci2950]

I would rather get fondled.

I want some big fat black woman to cup my balls with one hand and stick two fingers in my asshole with the other

[LAGC]

LOL. I love getting felt up by the fat TSA chicks. ;)

[Dr. Gonzo GED]

What the hell? Last time I flew it was a chubby dude feeling me down...

...then again this was in the Bay Area...

[BISHOP]

So, if you pay the bribe, you're free to go...

So slowly we are becomming a 3rd world country... All part of O'bama's plan.


BISHOP

[ready]

They told me $100 the other day.

[rci2950]

They told me $100 the other day.

That included the tip

[AKM]

I would rather get fondled.

I want some big fat black woman to cup my balls with one hand and stick two fingers in my asshole with the other

LMAO

[raxar]

I wonder how long until somebody on the "safe" list blows up a plane....

[rci2950]

I wonder how long until somebody on the "safe" list blows up a plane....

when they need to choke off more of our rights..

They need an excuse for someone to get past the rock solid TSA checkpoints.

[Altarboy]

Damn rci2950, that's some funny shiznit.

[O.S.O.K.]

Let me just speak my mind about this subject.

Fuck TSA and the horse they road in on.

[El Duce]

What is funny. My Sister owns a Cesna. When she flies into the local airport. (second longest runway in the state) I can drive my truck right onto the runway. Next to her plane or any other. No pat down, no screening. Nothing. Just picking up passengers from tail number XXXX. (gate opens.)

[Schuetzenman]

I would rather get fondled.

I want some big fat black woman to cup my balls with one hand and stick two fingers in my asshole with the other

Come to Atlanta's airport and I'm sure you can achieve that.

[NAPOTS]

What the hell? Last time I flew it was a chubby dude feeling me down...

...then again this was in the Bay Area...

Better a chubby dude than a dude with a chubby if you know what I mean.

[coppertales]

Just don't fly.........I retired from an airline with free flight bennies and I haven't been on an airplane in 8 years...............chris3

[LAGC]

Just don't fly.........I retired from an airline with free flight bennies and I haven't been on an airplane in 8 years...............chris3

It's not that bad. I flew out to Indiana earlier this year, and Washington D.C. last year. Most of the security check-points are just these turn-stile scanners where you just stand side-ways with your arms raised and it makes a quick 3D scan of your body so the TSA goons in the back monitor room can jack-off to your "naked" form. Assuming you don't have any metal or containers on you, they don't even pat you down afterwards.

The only pisser is that if you have a bottle of water or soda or something in your carry-on, they make you leave it behind, so that you have to buy the over-priced drinks from the secure area if you're thirsty.

[00RedZX-6R]

It's not that bad. I flew out to Indiana earlier this year, and Washington D.C. last year. Most of the security check-points are just these turn-stile scanners where you just stand side-ways with your arms raised and it makes a quick 3D scan of your body so the TSA goons in the back monitor room can jack-off to your "naked" form. Assuming you don't have any metal or containers on you, they don't even pat you down afterwards.

The only pisser is that if you have a bottle of water or soda or something in your carry-on, they make you leave it behind, so that you have to buy the over-priced drinks from the secure area if you're thirsty.

I refuse to go into that scanner. I am not worried about the scanner, but I like to make the lines slower and more difficult for everyone so people grow a pair and rebel against this bullshit agency.

I don't care if they pat my down, but is sure looks like it bothers them when I ask for hte pat down. Some big dumb looking guy has to put on gloves, rub his patch on my gloves, and run it through his scaner.

I also package my suitcase so that an object may look out of place to force them to open it up and examine the contents. The more work these pricks have to do the better.

I have wanted to go shooting right before I bored a plane, but I don't want to go so far as to get a cavity search.

[FunkyPertwee]

I refuse to go into that scanner. I am not worried about the scanner, but I like to make the lines slower and more difficult for everyone so people grow a pair and rebel against this bullshit agency.

I don't care if they pat my down, but is sure looks like it bothers them when I ask for hte pat down. Some big dumb looking guy has to put on gloves, rub his patch on my gloves, and run it through his scaner.

I also package my suitcase so that an object may look out of place to force them to open it up and examine the contents. The more work these pricks have to do the better.

I have wanted to go shooting right before I bored a plane, but I don't want to go so far as to get a cavity search.

You should continue your line of thinking and stop avoiding the cavity search. Rather, you should make them cavity search you every time. Maybe you could even request a cavity search from the same person that you tell you want the pat down.

[studmuffin]

Who wants a lap dance from the TSA? NOT ME!