"I am a college student at a large midwestern university"..

[Altarboy]

'I have blonde hair, blue eyes, and large breasts. One night I was up late studying in the basement of the undergraduate library when..."

When I was a kid, I found a large stash of books entitled 'Letters to Forum' in my stepmothers closet. It was an exciting time, but I wondered how so many people were hooking up so often. One day a buddy said 'you know most of those letters are fake. Some fat guy in a tank top smoking a cigar is writing those damn things". It kinda spoiled my image of Penthouse.

[Full Otto]

'I have blonde hair, blue eyes, and large breasts.

In that case I think I know how to get your roads fixed

[Krupski]

'I have blonde hair, blue eyes, and large breasts. One night I was up late studying in the basement of the undergraduate library when..."

When I was a kid, I found a large stash of books entitled 'Letters to Forum' in my stepmothers closet. It was an exciting time, but I wondered how so many people were hooking up so often. One day a buddy said 'you know most of those letters are fake. Some fat guy in a tank top smoking a cigar is writing those damn things". It kinda spoiled my image of Penthouse.

I always laughed at the guys who claimed they blew their wad and it knocked a hole in the wall. :lool:

[Altarboy]

I always laughed at the guys who claimed they blew their wad and it knocked a hole in the wall. :lool:

What? Stay with us Krup.

[coppertales]

Count me out. I don't like large hooters................chris3

[deth502]

studies show 9 out of 10 guy like big tits. the 10th one prefers the other 9 guys.

[Woogiebear]

Any time I am hanging out with the guys and they start talking shop, I always try and steer the conversation towards boobs. Its a much more entertaining subject.

[5.56NATO]

Some fat guy in a tank top smoking a cigar is writing those damn things".


http://twobitnews.com/files/Ron%20Jeremy.jpg

[Krupski]

studies show 9 out of 10 guy like big tits. the 10th one prefers the other 9 guys.


http://www.planetperplex.com/img/camel.jpg



9 out of 10 men who tried Camels preferred women.

[FunkyPertwee]

http://www.planetperplex.com/img/camel.jpg



9 out of 10 men who tried Camels preferred women.

What made you decide to try a camel?

[rci2950]

At sea when were all laying in our racks sometimes when there is a brand new ordinary seaman (private) that is all new and nervous, we will make him read those letters to us.

Good times.

[Krupski]

What made you decide to try a camel?

To see if women really were better. They are. Camels smell terrible.

[Dr. Gonzo GED]

Those stories are fake!?!!?

Man, no wonder all the chicks I hit on in the Walmart parking lot give me that look...

[raxar]

Those stories are fake!?!!?

Man, no wonder all the chicks I hit on in the Walmart parking lot give me that look...

you gotta be classy, like a silk handkerchief soaked in chloroform kinda classy.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/167572_1495317035802_6321743_n.jpg

[btcave]

Those stories are fake!?!!?

Man, no wonder all the chicks I hit on in the Walmart parking lot give me that look...

Is the bang bus fake? ;)

[Dr. Gonzo GED]

you gotta be classy, like a silk handkerchief soaked in chloroform kinda classy.


My favorite pick up line! "Hey, does this rag smell funny to you?"


Is the bang bus fake? ;)

The Bang Bus is fake too!?!?

Great! Next you're going to tell me women aren't actually attracted to guys who look like Ron Jeremy...

[btcave]

The Bang Bus is fake too!?!?

Great! Next you're going to tell me women aren't actually attracted to guys who look like Ron Jeremy...

Well...

[raxar]

Is the bang bus fake? ;)

Dear Penthouse,

I never thought it would happen to me:

The evening found me solitary, wandering the aisles of wal-mart pondering the futility of another night spent alone, drowning my sorrows in a bottle of wild irish rose, then I saw her. A scrappy 5'4" with hair as blond as a bottle could make it, lean and tender with an over sized ass barely contained by her tie dye stretch pants. Covered in tattoos and years of nicotine stains, she was a vision of beauty in a dirty Dirks Bently tee shirt. She gently swayed from pet supplies to home goods as I followed at what my lawyer assured me was "legally" safe distance, until she made that fateful decision to browse the tightly packed rows of discount clothing. I knew it would be my only shot, the pesky leering eyes of the security cameras blocked by Miley Cyrus's smiling cardboard face. Heart pounding I thrust myself closer and closer, fumbling for my secret weapon. Suddenly she turned to face me, confused she flashed a crooked yellow smile, until I POUNCED. Heart throbbing and sweat pouring off my face I put my rascal in high gear and raced off to get a couple of 50 pound bags of dog food and a cart, my trojan horse of love. Knowing the fools in the checkout lane would never notice I gently placed my darling treasure at the bottom and placed the alpo on top of her. Then it was a mere 20 minute wait as countless EBT cards paid for piles of baby formula and top ramen. When it was at last my turn I made every effort to charm the chubby, somewhat gnomeish looking fellow at the register as he dis-interestingly totaled my bill. He left out a grunt as I handed him the money, but no questions about the stirring mass at the bottom of my cart! SUCCESS! I ran as hard as I could out of the store, like a victor at the olympics. Hurriedly I shoveled everything into the back of my econoline and sent praises to every deity I could think of.

As I drove off I could hear a faint mutter and scratching on the steel floor, just the opening interlude to what would be the greatest night of my life.

[btcave]

Thanks Raxar, I need a shower now. I feel dirty.

[Altarboy]

Funny stuff. I love when a good post hangs on for a while. Nice rape-van Raxar, and nice story of your romantic interlude at Walmart.

[JTHunter]

What made you decide to try a camel?

He likes the way they chew their "cud"!

[FunkyPertwee]

He likes the way they chew their "cud"!

Unfortunately, they always spit.

[sevlex]

Unfortunately, they always spit.

I guess that puts the "spit or swallow" question to bed.