Saw this joke on Yahoo news...

[tank_monkey]

A fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up – fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman.
However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, “My father’s an exotic dancer in a gay Cabaret and takes off all his clothes to music in front of other men and they put Money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money.”

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little Justin aside.

“Is that really true about your father?”

“No,” the boy said, “He works for the Democratic National Committee and helped to get Obama re-elected, but it’s too embarrassing to say that in front of the other kids."

[miketx]

The teacher asked her third grade class for all the Obama supporters to raise their hand. Everyone did so except for little Johnny Conservative.

Johnny the teacher said, why didn't you raise your hand?

Because my father is a conservative and my mother is a conservative and I am a conservative and we don't support Obama. That's why my name is Johnny Conservative.

The teacher said, well Johnny Conservative, if you mother was an idiot and your father a moron, what would your name be then?

That's easy Johnny said, my name would be Kadmos.

[El Jefe]

:laughingtohard:

[TEN-32]

This reminds me of a joke that made the rounds at the police station a while back. We responded to a "check the well being" call. Apartment manager lets us in and we discover that the tenant is a 23 year old male, dressed in women's lingerie, high heels and an Obama '08 T shirt. There was gay porn on the tv and rohypnol scattered about the room. He had a Sawzall with a 10" black dildo going full tilt up his rectum and apparently the ligature for his auto erotic asphyxia was too tight. Cause of death...accidental strangulation.

In order to save the family any undue embarrassment, we removed the Obama t shirt.

[FunkyPertwee]

A fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up – fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman.
However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, “My father’s an exotic dancer in a gay Cabaret and takes off all his clothes to music in front of other men and they put Money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money.”

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little Justin aside.

“Is that really true about your father?”

“No,” the boy said, “He works for the Democratic National Committee and helped to get Obama re-elected, but it’s too embarrassing to say that in front of the other kids."


This reminds me of a joke that made the rounds at the police station a while back. We responded to a "check the well being" call. Apartment manager lets us in and we discover that the tenant is a 23 year old male, dressed in women's lingerie, high heels and an Obama '08 T shirt. There was gay porn on the tv and rohypnol scattered about the room. He had a Sawzall with a 10" black dildo going full tilt up his rectum and apparently the ligature for his auto erotic asphyxia was too tight. Cause of death...accidental strangulation.

In order to save the family any undue embarrassment, we removed the Obama t shirt.

These are both hilarious.

[miketx]

These are both hilarious.

Soon as I figure out how, you are goin on the ignore button!!!! ;)

[El Jefe]

This reminds me of a joke that made the rounds at the police station a while back. We responded to a "check the well being" call. Apartment manager lets us in and we discover that the tenant is a 23 year old male, dressed in women's lingerie, high heels and an Obama '08 T shirt. There was gay porn on the tv and rohypnol scattered about the room. He had a Sawzall with a 10" black dildo going full tilt up his rectum and apparently the ligature for his auto erotic asphyxia was too tight. Cause of death...accidental strangulation.

In order to save the family any undue embarrassment, we removed the Obama t shirt.

Um, dude....

[TEN-32]

Um, dude....
Elements of that story are true.

[miketx]

Elements of that story are true.

What, you didn't asphyxiate yourself, right? :)

[El Jefe]

What, you didn't asphyxiate yourself, right? :)

He won't admit to shit, he's a cop!

[TEN-32]

What, you didn't asphyxiate yourself, right? :)

There was an open chat box on his laptop and the webcam was live. The party on the other end was "BigMiketx". Probably a coincidence.

[miketx]

There was an open chat box on his laptop and the webcam was live. The party on the other end was "BigMiketx". Probably a coincidence.

Evidence planting at its finest.
-----------------------------

Ten-32 makes a traffic stop.



Two men were driving through the country when they got pulled over by Ten-32. He walked up and tapped on the window with his
nightstick.

The driver rolled down the window and "WHACK," Ten-32 smacked him in the head with his nightstick.

"What the he!! was that for?" the driver asked.

"Son," our hero answered. "When we pull you over, you better have your license ready by the time we get to your car."

"I'm sorry, officer" the driver said, "I'm from New York and didn't know your laws here."

Ten-32 runs a check on the guy's license--he's clean and gives the guy his license back.

Ten-32 then walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and "WHACK," Ten-32 smacks
him on the head with the nightstick.

What'd you do that for?" the passenger demands. "Just making your wish come true," replied Ten-32

"Making WHAT wish come true?" the passenger asked.

"Because I know you New Yorkers ," he says, "two miles down the road you're gonna turn to your buddy and say, 'I wish that a$$hole would've
tried that $hit with me!"

[El Laton Caliente]

This reminds me of a joke that made the rounds at the police station a while back. We responded to a "check the well being" call. Apartment manager lets us in and we discover that the tenant is a 23 year old male, dressed in women's lingerie, high heels and an Obama '08 T shirt. There was gay porn on the tv and rohypnol scattered about the room. He had a Sawzall with a 10" black dildo going full tilt up his rectum and apparently the ligature for his auto erotic asphyxia was too tight. Cause of death...accidental strangulation.

In order to save the family any undue embarrassment, we removed the Obama t shirt.

My Brother, Fireman, answered one that bad or worse when he was on the meat wagon... Three drunk and drugged out males, two using a long aquarium type light bulb in a lamp, turned on, in the third's rectum. They liked seeing him glow... They broke the bulb...

[miketx]

There was a school that catered to the severely mentally handicapped, and one way they motivated their students was by giving them treats. One day the music teacher decided to take the best singers in the school and form a choir, and in order to motivate the children to sign up, she offered them Coca Cola and cookies after each successful class. Well, this went on for about 2 months, and suddenly parents began to complain. Seems their children were putting on a fair amount of weight. Well, the choir teacher was making great progress and did not want to see the kids stop coming, so she decided to make the snacks a little healthier. She began to give them cans of Tab and slices of apples. This worked very well, the choir became very good, the students lost all the weight they put on, and everyone was happy. So successful was the choir program that they decided to put on a performance for the parents. Only problem was, they needed a name to put on the posters and ads for the program. Finally they selected the perfect name...

"The Moron Tab and Apple Choir".

[TEN-32]

My Brother, Fireman, answered one that bad or worse when he was on the meat wagon... Three drunk and drugged out males, two using a long aquarium type light bulb in a lamp, turned on, in the third's rectum. They liked seeing him glow... They broke the bulb...

Ugh. New meaning to the phrase "break one off..."

[TEN-32]

There was a school that catered to the severely mentally handicapped,

I didn't know you were musically inclined...?

[miketx]

Why don't you B minor.

[Silentkilla01]

Evidence planting at its finest.
-----------------------------

Ten-32 makes a traffic stop.



Two men were driving through the country when they got pulled over by Ten-32. He walked up and tapped on the window with his
nightstick.

The driver rolled down the window and "WHACK," Ten-32 smacked him in the head with his nightstick.

"What the he!! was that for?" the driver asked.

"Son," our hero answered. "When we pull you over, you better have your license ready by the time we get to your car."

"I'm sorry, officer" the driver said, "I'm from New York and didn't know your laws here."

Ten-32 runs a check on the guy's license--he's clean and gives the guy his license back.

Ten-32 then walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and "WHACK," Ten-32 smacks
him on the head with the nightstick.

What'd you do that for?" the passenger demands. "Just making your wish come true," replied Ten-32

"Making WHAT wish come true?" the passenger asked.

"Because I know you New Yorkers ," he says, "two miles down the road you're gonna turn to your buddy and say, 'I wish that a$$hole would've
tried that $hit with me!"
HOLY SHIT!!! Lmao!!!

[miketx]

HOLY SHIT!!! Lmao!!!

Did I place the wrong officer in that?

[Silentkilla01]

Did I place the wrong officer in that?

Shit that was spot on!!!! Well done!

[l921428x]

He won't admit to shit, he's a cop!

hey. I won't admit to shit and I am not a cop.

little johnny could have said barack Obama also.


thanx for the laffs though. those were good.