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View Full Version : The top Murphy's laws of war



Moebrown20
07-27-2010, 01:16 PM
• Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.

• Friendly fire - isn't.

• Recoilless rifles - aren't.

• Suppressive fires - won't.

• If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

• Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.

• Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

• Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

• The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
1. when they're ready.
2. when you're not.

• No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.

• There is no such thing as a perfect plan.

• Five second fuses always burn three seconds.

• There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.

• A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.

• The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.

• The easy way is always mined.

• Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

• Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.

• If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.

• Incoming fire has the right of way.

• No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.

• No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.

• If the enemy is within range, so are you.

• The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

• Tracers work both ways.

• When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.

• Military Intelligence is a contradiction.

• Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.

• The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.

• Napalm is an area support weapon.

• Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

• Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.

• The one item you need is always in short supply.


• It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.

• When in doubt, empty your magazine.

• The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.

• One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.

• A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.

• The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.

• Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.

• Field experience is something you don't get until just after you needed it.

• No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.

• Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.

• The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Medal of Honor.

• A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.

• There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.

• Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.

• If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you.

• The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.

• The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness).

• There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.

• Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands at your feet.

• As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains.

• The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.

• If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.

• No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.

• The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.

• The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

• There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.

• Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.

• Avoid loud noises, there are few silent killers in a combat zone.

• Respect all religions in a combat zone, take no chances on where you may go if killed.

• When in a fire fight, kill as many as you can, the one you miss may not miss tomorrow.

Batwing
07-27-2010, 07:43 PM
If at first you don't succeed, then bomb disposal probably isn't for you.

Murphy was a grunt.