ATAK, Inc.
07-28-2010, 10:53 AM
California:
The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks dog.
1. Governor starts to intervene, reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural.
2. He calls animal control. Animal control captures coyote and spends $200 testing it for diseases and $500 on relocating it.
3. He calls veterinarian. Vet collects dead dog and spends $200 testing it for diseases.
4. Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting @#$% wound bandaged.
5. Running trail gets shut down for 6 months while wildlife services conduct a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is clear of dangerous animals.
6. Governor spends $500,000 of state funds implementing a "coyote awareness" program for residents of the area.
7. State legislature spends $2 million investigating how to better handle rabies and how to possibly eradicate the disease.
8. Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack and for letting the Governor intervene.
9. Cost: $75,000 to train new security agent.
10. PETA protests the coyote relocation and files suit against the state.
Arizona:
The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks dog.
1. Governor shoots coyote and keeps jogging. Governor spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
2. Buzzards eat dead coyote.
And that's why California is broke.
The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks dog.
1. Governor starts to intervene, reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural.
2. He calls animal control. Animal control captures coyote and spends $200 testing it for diseases and $500 on relocating it.
3. He calls veterinarian. Vet collects dead dog and spends $200 testing it for diseases.
4. Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting @#$% wound bandaged.
5. Running trail gets shut down for 6 months while wildlife services conduct a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is clear of dangerous animals.
6. Governor spends $500,000 of state funds implementing a "coyote awareness" program for residents of the area.
7. State legislature spends $2 million investigating how to better handle rabies and how to possibly eradicate the disease.
8. Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack and for letting the Governor intervene.
9. Cost: $75,000 to train new security agent.
10. PETA protests the coyote relocation and files suit against the state.
Arizona:
The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks dog.
1. Governor shoots coyote and keeps jogging. Governor spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
2. Buzzards eat dead coyote.
And that's why California is broke.