Wives - they wear us down into submission!

**Mark Ducati** · 08-26-2011, 07:45 PM

I swear, is there a manual out there for them or what?

Before I married my wife, I asked her daddy for her hand in marriage... I also asked him if he had any advice. Yes, he was very specific. He said you only have to remember one phrase for a happy marriage, and I quote: "Yes dear, you were right and I'm sorry".

No joke... one thing that has always bothered me about my in-laws, is that their house is a mess, the grandchildren come over and regularly ruin their home, not to mention their six figure RV... I always wondered how my FIL could tolerate such messiness and disrespect of what he has spent his hard earned dollars on.

I "think" I'm beginning to understand...

Day before yesterday, a possum/raccoon got into the chicken coop and killed our chicken that was laying the rich eggs that we enjoyed... wife called me that morning telling me that she was killed and that she was going to buy another chicken at the feed-n-seed supply place... I get home and my daughter says "Daddy daddy! We got a kitty!"... I reply "A chicky?"... "No a kitty!"

Y'all know how I HATE cats! AND I'm highly allergic to them... so my wife buys a kitten, I get home... bitch about it for an hour, tell her I don't ever want a kitty-liter as I can't stand the smell.. the next night after work, the "outside" cat managed to stay alive (wife put it in a crate)... we joke (both of us over drinks) that it will probably die and that at $10 it was basically "disposable"... so, I come home tonight, there's a kitty-liter box in the garage with liter all over the garage... the wife says she's now attached to it! AND she's pissed at me for coming home, after working my ass off all day coming home late because I had a last minute emergency and had to pull a tooth on a lady because I'm the ONLY dentist available at 5pm on a Friday afternoon...

She goes out for dinner with her sister and niece... I'm perusing the email account we both share, and now see why, I believe, she was so upset with me bitching about the kitty-liter... she bought a friggin $100 cage for it too that she didn't tell me about!

When my wife gets back... I plan to simply say "Yes dear, you were right and I'm sorry!"... as much as I hate cats, I love my wife more. But really? I am literally worn down over this "cat thing" and everything else... I feel like just laying down and taking it and whatever she wants to do is fine... I'm tired of working my butt off and coming home and complaining.

That's okay, I won't be here much longer... I found out a few weeks ago that my thyroid level is low... and now today, found that my BP is too high.

Life's too short... "Yes dear, you were right and I'm sorry" is my new catch phrase.....

I swear, there's got to be a secret manual THEY all have! Do we have one? I never got the memo! Hahaha

**Viking350** · 08-26-2011, 07:49 PM

Originally Posted by Mark Ducati

I swear, is there a manual out there for them or what?

Before I married my wife, I asked her daddy for her hand in marriage... I also asked him if he had any advice. Yes, he was very specific. He said you only have to remember one phrase for a happy marriage, and I quote: "Yes dear, you were right and I'm sorry".

No joke... one thing that has always bothered me about my in-laws, is that their house is a mess, the grandchildren come over and regularly ruin their home, not to mention their six figure RV... I always wondered how my FIL could tolerate such messiness and disrespect of what he has spent his hard earned dollars on.

I "think" I'm beginning to understand...

Day before yesterday, a possum/raccoon got into the chicken coop and killed our chicken that was laying the rich eggs that we enjoyed... wife called me that morning telling me that she was killed and that she was going to buy another chicken at the feed-n-seed supply place... I get home and my daughter says "Daddy daddy! We got a kitty!"... I reply "A chicky?"... "No a kitty!"

Y'all know how I HATE cats! AND I'm highly allergic to them... so my wife buys a kitten, I get home... bitch about it for an hour, tell her I don't ever want a kitty-liter as I can't stand the smell.. the next night after work, the "outside" cat managed to stay alive (wife put it in a crate)... we joke (both of us over drinks) that it will probably die and that at $10 it was basically "disposable"... so, I come home tonight, there's a kitty-liter box in the garage with liter all over the garage... the wife says she's now attached to it! AND she's pissed at me for coming home, after working my ass off all day coming home late because I had a last minute emergency and had to pull a tooth on a lady because I'm the ONLY dentist available at 5pm on a Friday afternoon...

She goes out for dinner with her sister and niece... I'm perusing the email account we both share, and now see why, I believe, she was so upset with me bitching about the kitty-liter... she bought a friggin $100 cage for it too that she didn't tell me about!

When my wife gets back... I plan to simply say "Yes dear, you were right and I'm sorry!"... as much as I hate cats, I love my wife more. But really? I am literally worn down over this "cat thing" and everything else... I fell like just laying down and taking it and whatever she wants to do is fine... I'm tired of working my butt off and coming home and complaining.

That's okay, I won't be here much longer... I found out a few weeks ago that my thyroid level is low... and now today, found that my BP is too high.

Life's too short... "Yes dear, you were right and I'm sorry" is my new catch phrase.

Welcome to the club. If you behave yourself, she may just give them back to you....temporarily.

**mriddick** · 08-26-2011, 07:51 PM

When you leave in the morning for work take it with you and drop it off at a shelter atleast one (preferably 2) counties away.

**Mark Ducati** · 08-26-2011, 07:55 PM

Hey, she did at least think one thing through... when I argued that I didn't want stray kittens and didn't want to pay $145 bucks to have it spayed (just had our puppy spayed on Monday)... she was proud that she bought a boy so we wouldn't have to worry about "that" problem! Yeah, that makes it better... now he's someone else's problem! Hahaha... be glad you don't live next door to me with a female kitty!

**btcave** · 08-26-2011, 07:56 PM

Don't lose your balls Doc. The phrase has it's place, but it's not to be uttered because of exhaustion. Keep your head up hero. It's just a cat my brother.

edit- A boy might leave the nest after 2 years if you don't neuter him.

**Viking350** · 08-26-2011, 07:57 PM

Originally Posted by Mark Ducati

Hey, she did at least think one thing through... when I argued that I didn't want stray kittens and didn't want to pay $145 bucks to have it spayed (just had our puppy spayed on Monday)... she was proud that she bought a boy so we wouldn't have that problem! Yeah, that makes it better... now he's someone else's problem! Hahaha... be glad you don't live next door to me with a female kitty!

You think you have it made, huh? Just wait till the neighbors female goes into heat and see how miserable he makes you trying to get out. I always look at the bright side!

**Mark Ducati** · 08-26-2011, 08:09 PM

Originally Posted by Viking350

You think you have it made, huh? Just wait till the neighbors female goes into heat and see how miserable he makes you trying to get out. I always look at the bright side!

Shit! You guys are making me cry! Now all I can think about are those damn paw prints and scratches on the hood of my truck!

**FunkyPertwee** · 08-26-2011, 08:09 PM

So what if she says "get rid of the guns"?

**mriddick** · 08-26-2011, 08:13 PM

If it's a boy you still need to get it neutered, otherwise it's going to spray everywhere and they especially love to mark vehicles, the newer the better...

**Mark Ducati** · 08-26-2011, 08:15 PM

Here's the little fucker in which we're discussing:

Somehow, I find it easier to shoot ferral cats at 50 yards than this little guy [Han Solo]"Ya big fur ball"[/Han Solo] up close...

So, I'm NOT(to save my marriage) going to kill this "thing" and try to rationalize its existence... they kill mice/snakes/and vermin in general right? And if SHTF, they taste like chicken, right?

As for the guns Funky... she married me WITH guns as I am.. she married me WITH a dog as I am... I had NO cats when we got married... hahaha...

My eyes are still itchy from last night... seriously, I tried, I rubbed the littler F'er in my face.. I'm not allergic to all cats, just 9 out of 10! I gave him a chance, eyes swelled shut last night, put some prednisone eye drops in (old Rx) and they were still puffy this morning... I tried!

**old Grump** · 08-26-2011, 08:20 PM

Go with the guns, they won't cry if you don't feed them, mess up the furniture, won't cough up hairballs or dig holes in your back yard or jump on you with muddy feet right after you just put on good clean clothes to go out in. They won't complain if the cute little 28 gauge next door is hot looking and they will always be there for you when you need them. Blood pressure going down, stress level going down, thyroid is treatable, there is hope. Guns are undemanding that way....and cheaper.

**Warthogg** · 08-26-2011, 08:30 PM

Originally Posted by mriddick

When you leave in the morning for work take her with you and drop her off at a shelter at least one (preferably 2) counties away.

Wart

**Viking350** · 08-26-2011, 08:30 PM

Originally Posted by Mark Ducati

Here's the little fucker in which we're discussing:

Somehow, I find it easier to shoot ferral cats at 50 yards than this little guy [Han Solo]"Ya big fur ball"[/Han Solo] up close...

So, I'm NOT(to save my marriage) going to kill this "thing" and try to rationalize its existence... they kill mice/snakes/and vermin in general right? And if SHTF, they taste like chicken, right?

As for the guns Funky... she married me WITH guns as I am.. she married me WITH a dog as I am... I had NO cats when we got married... hahaha...

My eyes are still itchy from last night... seriously, I tried, I rubbed the littler F'er in my face.. I'm not allergic to all cats, just 9 out of 10! I gave him a chance, eyes swelled shut last night, put some prednisone eye drops in (old Rx) and they were still puffy this morning... I tried!

Look at that evil WTF do you want look he is giving you.

**O.S.O.K.** · 08-26-2011, 08:48 PM

Two thoughts... one: straight antifreeze - sneek home and feed it to him one day - wait a week or so...

or, two: go out and getcha a new gun and a case of ammo.

If she says anything about cost - comparing, just hand her a sheet with the annual cost of owning the damned cat - make sure and put the vet bills in there...

or if you multiply the annual by 15 (the damned thing will live at least that long...) you can get something even "more"

**Kadmos** · 08-26-2011, 08:55 PM

No need to kill the cat, just say "look sweetheart, I'm allergic to this cat, I don't want this cat, please get rid of it by Tuesday"

Then say nothing else about it, don't whine, bitch, or argue.

If the cat is still there Wednesday then drop it at the pound. Don't make a big deal about it, best to say nothing about it at all. Just do it, let go of whatever emotional bullshit it's caused you and be done with it.

Cats can live 20 something years, it's bullshit that it was foisted on you, so get rid of it, get past it, and be done with it.

In a month it will all be forgotten

**btcave** · 08-26-2011, 09:29 PM

Originally Posted by Kadmos

No need to kill the cat, just say "look sweetheart, I'm allergic to this cat, I don't want this cat, please get rid of it by Tuesday"

Then say nothing else about it, don't whine, bitch, or argue.

If the cat is still there Wednesday then drop it at the pound. Don't make a big deal about it, best to say nothing about it at all. Just do it, let go of whatever emotional bullshit it's caused you and be done with it.

Cats can live 20 something years, it's bullshit that it was foisted on you, so get rid of it, get past it, and be done with it.

In a month it will all be forgotten

You and your fricken wisdom! Frak... he's got a point. I'm with Kadmos.

**Mark Ducati** · 08-26-2011, 09:29 PM

Cats can live 20 something years,

Are you shittin' me? Seriously?

My Whippet lived 14 years before I had to put my best friend down.... remember that thread? That was about 2 years ago.

I didn't say anything about 6 weeks ago... but remember when I posted that we got two new Whippet puppies that were born on my birthday last October? Well, at 9 months of age 1 of the puppies died... she was having seizures at 6 1/2 months of age, like 3 a day... then they stopped for 2 weeks... then she started having dizzy spells like she'd run into a wall (vet couldn't find anything wrong with her)... about 6 weeks ago, 100 degrees outside, 90 at night... left the garage door open, both puppies in their crate (waaaaaay bigger than the kitty's crate). One of the puppy's an escape artist (whippets are known for this), opened the cage, they got out at night, and the puppy that died must have gotten dizzy or had a seizure and fell in the pool and drowned (I found her the next morning). I didn't post as at 9 months, yeah it was super sad, but personally, I wasn't that attached to her yet... at least that's the way I tried to rationalize it. Sure, I cried my eyes out, buried her in the yard at 7:30am next to my dog of 14 years in the back yard... yeah, I guess I was attached to her after all, had to cancel all my patients the rest of the day as I couldn't go to work I was so torn up... didn't post as I didn't think you guys would care about a 9 month old puppy.

Anyways... cats living 20+ years????? Say it aint so!