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Thread: Paraprospkians.

  1. #1
    Senior Member El Duce's Avatar

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    Paraprospkians.

    Email from my Dad.

    PARAPROSDOKIANS: (Winston Churchill loved them.)

    I had to look up "paraprosdokian". Here is the definition:

    "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or
    phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous
    situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of
    paraprosdokian.

    1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his
    level and beat you with experience.

    2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on
    my list.

    3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people
    appear bright until you hear them speak.

    4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

    5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in
    public.

    6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

    7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not
    putting it in a fruit salad.

    8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and
    then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

    9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from
    many is research.

    10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is
    where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

    11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted
    paychecks.

    12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says,
    'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

    13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

    14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down
    the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still
    think they are
    sexy.

    15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall
    of a successful man is usually another woman. (This one
    sounds like
    a politician.)

    16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

    17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a
    parachute to skydive twice.

    18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier
    to live with.

    19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone
    down so they can't get away.

    20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

    21. You're never too old to learn something stupid. (I learn
    this everyday!)

    22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call
    whatever you hit the target.

    23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

    24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

    25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
    standing in a garage makes you a car.

    26. Where there's a will, there's relatives.

  2. #2
    Moderator & Team Gunsnet Platinum 07/2011 O.S.O.K.'s Avatar

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    I like em too!
    ~Nemo me impune lacessit~




  3. #3
    Team GunsNet Silver 12/2012 Warthogg's Avatar

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