Stalin decides to go out one day...

[was_peacemaker]

and see what it's really like for the workers, so he puts on a disguise and sneaks out of the Kremlin. After a while he wanders into a cinema. When the film has finished, the Soviet Anthem plays and a huge picture of Stalin appears on the screen. Everyone stands up and begins singing, except Stalin, who smugly remains seated. A minute later a man behind him leans forwards and whispers in his ear: "Listen Comrade, we all feel exactly the same way you do, but trust me, it's a lot safer if you just stand up."

[Cypher]

And the punch line is.................

[N/A]

And the punch line is.................

A termite walks into a saloon and says "Where's the bar tender?"

[Sidartha]

And the punch line is.................

....If I'd known that I never would have married her!!

[old Grump]

And the punch line is.................

Purple wood...no wait, thats a different joke.

[was_peacemaker]

I thought it was funny....oh well.

[NAPOTS]

...rectum...damn near killed 'em.

[Justin]

How about this one.

A secretary is standing outside the Kremlin when Marshal Zhukov leaves a meeting with Stalin and she hears him mutter under his breath, "murderous moustache!". She runs in to see Stalin and breathlessly reports, "I just heard Zhukov say "murderous moustache"!" Stalin dismisses the secretary and sends for Zhukov, who comes back in. "Whom did you have in mind with "murderous moustache"?" asks Stalin. "Why, Hitler, of course, Iosef Vissarionovich." Stalin thanks him and dismisses him, and calls the secretary back. "And whom did you think he was talking about?"