What inspires me to get up in the morning?
My bladder...
What inspires me to get up in the morning?
My bladder...
We found out what "dealing" with progressive lefties is all about. Our side gives up something, they give up nothing and the progressives come back in a month or a year and want us to give up more... rinse and repeat...
Napoleon was on the battle field.
He got off his horse and accidentally stepped on a land mine and was killed.
This is how he became Napoleon Blowapart.
Energizer Bunny arrested -- charged with battery.
A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality comes from morons?
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
“I have little patience with people who take the Bill of Rights for granted. The Bill of Rights, contained in the first ten amendments to the Constitution, is every American’s guarantee of freedom.” - - President Harry S. Truman, “Years of Trial and Hope”
Little Johnny asks his teacher: Three women are sitting at a table in an ice cream parlor. Which one is married? The one licking the cone? The one biting the cone? Or the one sucking the cone?
Teacher: The one sucking the cone?
Little Johnny: No, the one with the wedding ring! But I like the way you think.
Nietzsche: From life's school of war: what does not kill me makes me stronger.
“I have little patience with people who take the Bill of Rights for granted. The Bill of Rights, contained in the first ten amendments to the Constitution, is every American’s guarantee of freedom.” - - President Harry S. Truman, “Years of Trial and Hope”
Q: What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?
A: On St. Patrick's Day, everyone wants to be Irish!
(OMG senility must be setting in. Now I'm repeating my own posts from 3 years ago.......)
Gentlemen may prefer Blondes, but Real Men prefer Redheads!
"Valar morghulis; valar dohaeris."
Commucrats are most efficient at converting sins and crimes to accidents or misunderstandings.-Oswald Bastable
Making good people helpless won't make bad people harmless.
Freedom isn't free.
"Attitude is the paintbrush that colors our world." TV Series, Haven.
My Spirit Animal has rabies.
I'd rather be an American than a Democrat.
"If you can make a man afraid, you can control him" Netflix Series, The Irregulars
A 60-year-old man went to a doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, “You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever; you have the body of a 35-year-old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?”
The 60-year-old responded, “Did I say he was dead?”
The doctor was surprised and asked, “How old is he and is he very active?”
The 60-year-old responded, “Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing three times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer.”
The doctor couldn't believe it! So he said, “Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?”
The 60-year-old responded again, “Did I say he was dead?”
The doctor was astonished. He said, “You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?”
The 60-year-old said, “He goes skiing at least once a season and surfing once a week during the summer. Not only that,” said the patient, “my grandfather is 106 years old, and next week he is getting married again.”
The doctor said, “At 106 years why on earth would your grandfather want to get married?”
His patient looked up at the doctor and said, “Did I say he wanted to?”
“I have little patience with people who take the Bill of Rights for granted. The Bill of Rights, contained in the first ten amendments to the Constitution, is every American’s guarantee of freedom.” - - President Harry S. Truman, “Years of Trial and Hope”
a man goes into his neighborhood bar, orders a whiskey. he downs it and orders another. bartender asks, whats goin' on? aw, that neighbor george! he came over last night with some story. his wife is out of town, offered me two times with his when she gets back, for one time with mine. bartender says, well, whatd'ya do? man says, i ran his ass off. bartender says, too bad, his wife has better pussy than your's.
Two old ladies decide to go to the movie theater one evening.
The movie starts and they watch it for a while. Then, the one old girl turns to the other and whispers, "Mabel, the guy sitting next to me is jacking off!"
Mabel says, "Well let's get up and move then!".
The other says back, "I can't, he's using my hand!"
Nietzsche: From life's school of war: what does not kill me makes me stronger.
“I have little patience with people who take the Bill of Rights for granted. The Bill of Rights, contained in the first ten amendments to the Constitution, is every American’s guarantee of freedom.” - - President Harry S. Truman, “Years of Trial and Hope”
Was about to mention Biden/Harris, a joke of a horror story!
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