An Italian woman was sitting on her front porch with her Polish next door neighbor lady friend. In the distance the Italian woman saw her husband walking up the sidewalk with a bouquet of flowers and singing a romantic song.
The Italian woman says, "That sonabitch! Ima spend alla my weekend ona my backa witha my legs in the air!"
The Pollock says, "Don't you have a vase?"
How did the Polish chick in the theater know the guy sitting next to her was jacking off?
He used her hand.
How do you get a one armed pollock out of a tree.
Wave to him.
What's the difference between a blue eyed pollock and a brown eyed pollock
The blue eyed pollock is a quart low.
Triplets
A woman pregnant with triplets is walking down the street when a masked robber runs out the bank and shoots her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies are okay. The surgeon decides to leave the bullets in because it’s too risky to operate.
All is fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walks into the room in tears. “What’s wrong” asks the mother. “I was taking pee and this bullet came out” replies the daughter. The mother tells her it’s okay and explains what happened 16 years ago.
About a week later the second daughter walks in to the room in tears. “Mom, I was taking pee and this bullet came out”. Again the mother tells her not to worry and explains what happened 16 years ago.
A week later the boy walks into the room in tears. “It’s okay” says the mom, “I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out.”
“No,” says the boy, “I was jerking off and I shot the dog.”
Roman Catholic, Life Member of American Legion, VFW, Wisconsin Libertarian party, Wi-FORCE, WGO, NRA, JPFO, GOA, SAF and CCRKBA
"THE STATE THAT SEPARATES ITS SCHOLARS FROM IT WARRIORS WILL HAVE ITS THINKING DONE BY COWARDS AND ITS FIGHTING DONE BY FOOLS"
THUCYDIDES.
How did Joey know Krupski was gay?
http://www.gunsnet.net/showthread.ph...741#post212741
Now that it's close to St Pat's day, here is the most important and specific ingredient.
239 beans.
If there were one more, it would be 2 fardy.
Roman Catholic, Life Member of American Legion, VFW, Wisconsin Libertarian party, Wi-FORCE, WGO, NRA, JPFO, GOA, SAF and CCRKBA
"THE STATE THAT SEPARATES ITS SCHOLARS FROM IT WARRIORS WILL HAVE ITS THINKING DONE BY COWARDS AND ITS FIGHTING DONE BY FOOLS"
THUCYDIDES.
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night.
He went home and told his wife, "Mary, I won the prize for the best toast of the night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep."
Roman Catholic, Life Member of American Legion, VFW, Wisconsin Libertarian party, Wi-FORCE, WGO, NRA, JPFO, GOA, SAF and CCRKBA
"THE STATE THAT SEPARATES ITS SCHOLARS FROM IT WARRIORS WILL HAVE ITS THINKING DONE BY COWARDS AND ITS FIGHTING DONE BY FOOLS"
THUCYDIDES.
The past, the present and the future all walked into a bar...
It was tense.
If we refuse to rule ourselves with reason, then we shall be ruled by our passions.
He, Who Will Not Reason, Is a Bigot; He, Who Cannot, Is a Fool; and He, Who Dares Not, Is a Slave. -Sir William Drummond
There are some things I will not abide within my sight!
Thank joke was quite intense.Originally Posted by Oswald Bastable
Gentlemen may prefer Blondes, but Real Men prefer Redheads!
How do you keep a pollock busy for hours?
Give him a card that says "see other side" on both sides.
Gentlemen may prefer Blondes, but Real Men prefer Redheads!
We've all heard of "Russian Roulette"... but what is "Polish Roulette"?
Same game... but with a semi-auto.
Gentlemen may prefer Blondes, but Real Men prefer Redheads!
Ack...get it right Rog!
That's Mexican Roulette...
Polish Roulette is with 1 cylinder empty.
If we refuse to rule ourselves with reason, then we shall be ruled by our passions.
He, Who Will Not Reason, Is a Bigot; He, Who Cannot, Is a Fool; and He, Who Dares Not, Is a Slave. -Sir William Drummond
There are some things I will not abide within my sight!
During the days of the Solidarity movement the Chicago subunit know as the Polish Freedom Movement stormed the Russian consulate and occupied all the restrooms.
When asked what they were doing, their spokesman Stan Kowalski answered, "We're staging a Shit In".
Sorry. What did you expect from a pollock anyway?
Gentlemen may prefer Blondes, but Real Men prefer Redheads!
Four survivors of a shipwreck are in the middle of the ocean in a lifeboat, the captain, an irishman, an american and a pollock.
Captain says, "Men, we only have enough water and rations for three of us to survive,since i'm the only one who knows how to navigate i'm going to ask each of you a question , if you get it wrong, it's overboard for you."
He asks the irishman," what was the name of the big luxury liner that hit an iceberg and sunk in 1912?"
The irishman answers immediately, "the Titanic"
" Correct", says the captain,"
He asks the american, " roughly, how many people died when it sank?"
The american says, " about 1200"
"close enough" says the captian.
He turns to the pollock. " what were thier names and addresses?"
Last edited by davepool; 03-16-2012 at 10:31 PM.
4 men, a Frenchman, a German, a Mexican, & a Texan are flying onboard a small passenger aircraft when it develops mechanical problems. As the plane starts losing altitude rapidly the pilot comes on the intercom and speaks: "Gentlemen, we are experiencing serious engine problems with our craft. If we do not severely lighten our load and quickly, this plane will not stay in the air & we'll crash. So...I am asking 3 of you to sacrifice yourselves that the rest of us may live. I believe with the lightened load we'll be able to maintain our altitude and make it. Please come to this decision asap!"
After this, the Frenchman suddenly stands up, shouts "Viva la France!", throws open the plane door & jumps out.
A few seconds later, the German bolts up, exclaims "For the Fatherland!" and hurls himself headfirst out the door.
A few moments pass by, with the Mexican & Texan eyeing each other. Then, the Texan suddenly gets to his feet, yells "Remember the Alamo!" and heaves the Mexican out!
Scary but trueIf my body was a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.
I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull...But that's not the worst of it.
My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close My traction is not as graceful as it once was.
I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it,
Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter,either my radiator leaks or My Exhaust Backfires!
Last edited by old Grump; 03-17-2012 at 08:31 PM.
Roman Catholic, Life Member of American Legion, VFW, Wisconsin Libertarian party, Wi-FORCE, WGO, NRA, JPFO, GOA, SAF and CCRKBA
"THE STATE THAT SEPARATES ITS SCHOLARS FROM IT WARRIORS WILL HAVE ITS THINKING DONE BY COWARDS AND ITS FIGHTING DONE BY FOOLS"
THUCYDIDES.
What's the difference between St. Patrick's day and Dr. Martin Luther King day?
On St. Patrick's day everyone wants to be Irish...
Gentlemen may prefer Blondes, but Real Men prefer Redheads!
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