Depends, did you put it there? Did you run out of bread? Was there mustard on it?Originally Posted by Krupski
Depends, did you put it there? Did you run out of bread? Was there mustard on it?
Yes, no, no.
Gentlemen may prefer Blondes, but Real Men prefer Redheads!
Ah-ha! Um. Why not?
Did you try the shopvac?
If we refuse to rule ourselves with reason, then we shall be ruled by our passions.
He, Who Will Not Reason, Is a Bigot; He, Who Cannot, Is a Fool; and He, Who Dares Not, Is a Slave. -Sir William Drummond
There are some things I will not abide within my sight!
Only on himself.
No enemy of America would have ever been killed if they didn't show up to be killed. HDR
Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel; I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down.
I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.
My wife has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.
My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.
Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion.
Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty.
I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all, "Honey," I stammered; I always call her "honey" in times like these. "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."
There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard her voice. "Idiot", she barked, "I dropped you off!"
No enemy of America would have ever been killed if they didn't show up to be killed. HDR
i think with the "hitler was right", the "10-22/blackhawk" and the "copper thief", this one would be a bit of a step up afa things coming back on you
Yeah, "Kielbalsa Krupski" does have a better ring to it than the shit you usually catch. "Ring bologna Roger" not so much.i think with the "hitler was right", the "10-22/blackhawk" and the "copper thief", this one would be a bit of a step up afa things coming back on you
The tale of Ten Pigs
A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them.
At the fair, he met another farmer who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50. Because the farmers lived sixty miles apart, they agreed to drive thirty miles each and find a field in which to let the pigs mate.
The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 AM, loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, which was the only vehicle he had, and drove the thirty miles. While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer, "How will I know if they are pregnant?" The other farmer replied, "If they're lying in the grass tomorrow morning, they're pregnant. If they're in the mud, they're not."
The next morning, the pigs were rolling in the mud. So he hosed them off, loaded them into the family station wagon again, and drove thirty miles to try again. This continued each morning for more than a week and both farmers were worn out.
The morning following the last attempt, the farmer was too tired to get out of bed. He called to his wife, "Honey, please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud or in the grass."
"Neither," yelled his wife, "they're in the station wagon and one of them is honking the horn."
We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm.
George Orwell
Speaking of missing cars;
One day a drunk wanders into a police station. The desk sargent asks why is he there, and the drunk responds his car is missing.
Cop asks, "So where was the last place you remember seeing it?"
Drunks holds up his car key and says, "I'm not sure, but I know it was attached to the end of this key".
At this point the sargent points down to the drunk's opened fly on his pants.
"Do you know your zipper is open & your penis is out?"
Drunk looks down and cries out, "Oh nooo, I've lost my girl friend too!"
A couple were celebrating 50 years together..
Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner
in their
honor
.
"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed son number one. 'Sorry I'm
running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a
patient, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a
gift."
"Not to worry," said the father. "The important thing is that
we're all together today.
Son number two arrived and announced, "You and Mom look great,
Dad. I just flew in from
Los
Angeles
between depositions and didn't have time to shop for you."
"It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come."
Just then the daughter arrived. "Hello and happy anniversary! I'm sorry, but my boss is sending
me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."
After they had finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have
wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to
send each of you to college. Throughout the years your mother and I knew that we loved
each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."
The three children gasped and all said, "You mean we're bastards?"
"
Yep
," said the father. "And cheap ones too."
No enemy of America would have ever been killed if they didn't show up to be killed. HDR
Catfish tender, catfish tough,
We’ done et catfishes long enough.
We’uns tar’d o' dandlions en white-side meat,
An we agonna have sumpp’n’ what’s good to eat.
It’s ’possum time again!
Mmmmmmmm
Roman Catholic, Life Member of American Legion, VFW, Wisconsin Libertarian party, Wi-FORCE, WGO, NRA, JPFO, GOA, SAF and CCRKBA
"THE STATE THAT SEPARATES ITS SCHOLARS FROM IT WARRIORS WILL HAVE ITS THINKING DONE BY COWARDS AND ITS FIGHTING DONE BY FOOLS"
THUCYDIDES.
Lol if the last guy is that twit Justin Bieber he would definitely be tossed to the zombies straight off.
Dragged behind a slow-moving truck...sort of like chumming for sharks...then when the Z's start swarming him, head shots for all.
Lol if the last guy is that twit Justin Bieber he would definitely be tossed to the zombies straight off.
Dragged behind a slow-moving truck...sort of like chumming for sharks...then when the Z's start swarming him, head shots for all.
You don't know Justin Bieber?!?!?!?!?!
Leonardo DiCaprio Is Actually A Woman Named Judy Zipper From The 1960s....
no lie.....
tres creepy.....
My money is on Photoshop with that one...Leonardo DiCaprio Is Actually A Woman Named Judy Zipper From The 1960s....
no lie.....
tres creepy.....
Don't be so sure. I can see a woman looking like that. Heck, I knew a woman once who was a dead ringer for Gary Busey, except Gary Busey was better lookin'.....
Which one was the better kisser or didn't it matter to you.
Roman Catholic, Life Member of American Legion, VFW, Wisconsin Libertarian party, Wi-FORCE, WGO, NRA, JPFO, GOA, SAF and CCRKBA
"THE STATE THAT SEPARATES ITS SCHOLARS FROM IT WARRIORS WILL HAVE ITS THINKING DONE BY COWARDS AND ITS FIGHTING DONE BY FOOLS"
THUCYDIDES.
A guy driving through the country passes a sign that says," peanut butter and jelly apples $5.00 each"
Curious, he pulls over and asks the farmer what's the story
Farmer says, "try one you'll see"
Guy takes a bite and says," Well i taste the peanut butter but no jelly"
Farmer says, "turn it around"
The guy does and immediately tastes grape jelly.
Farmer says, "these over here are ham and cheese flavor for $10.00 each, try one".
Guy takes a bite and says, " all i taste is cheese"
Farmer says again, "turn it around"
The guy does and enjoys the taste of fine virginia ham, " Wow, these are great", he says.
Farmer says, "I have some for $50.00 each that taste like pussy, try one"
The guy takes a bite and exclaims, " Damn, these taste like shit"
Farmer says, " TURN IT AROUND,TURN IT AROUND"
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