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Thread: Question to the Veterans of RECENT wars.

  1. #1
    Senior Member BISHOP's Avatar

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    Question to the Veterans of RECENT wars.

    I had a friend call me yesterday, that I haven't talked to in almost 8 years (on purpose).
    He was a good friend of 18 years and I decided to cut him loose and leave the area to never talk to him again because he became an alcoholic that couldn't stay out of jail. It all happened in a 1 year time period and I was DONE as we worked together and now I was out of work because of this.....

    ANYWAY.....

    I get a call from him regarding our mutual friend who is now retired Special Forces. HE now works for my friend building houses.
    My friend has known the SF guy since they were too young to remember.

    The SF guy has been out less than 1.5 years and since the summer has let himself go. His face is getting all sunk in, dark rings around the eyes, won't shower. My friend told me that he was almost puking over the smell because they are now working inside.
    Earlier this summer he was wearing some shorts that were all ripped so much that you could see whats inside and he didn't care, only telling my friend "don't like it stop looking"
    My friend is trying to keep a good image to clients and paying customers and the SF guy just gets all agitated and yells that he doesn't care.

    Early in his career when he was a Ranger he had enough and got out in the early 2000s only to become a fat, drunk, cigarette smoker with a very crappy job. Seeing this HE decided its not for him and he stopped it all, got back in shape and got back in. Been SF ever since.

    The SF guy keeps complaining about PTSD. He has done and seen a lot.

    We both think this is depression. My friend claims NO drug use.

    What can My friend do?
    He wants to stay friends and keep SF guy working with him.
    He doesn't want to pry and the SF guy gets all agitated when he (the friend ) tries to clean him up.

    We really want to know what is it he is going through? it is depression?

    I was trying to explain to my friend that SF guy was the SH1T. He was the bad ass, he still is, but there is no longer the daily adrenaline rush of combat anymore and now its just building houses. That now he is out he is also all broken. My friend says that the only thing that still works on SF guy is his ego. Deaf, bad knees, and back.

    Is there a forum for EX SF guys that he can join to share stories so he has a place of like minded, been there done that guys?
    I think he may feel alone, though he has 2 kids just under teens is there with his life long best friend, thinking "this is it?"

    I am out of the link and live 2 hours away.

    I am very worried that I'm going to get THAT phone call.


    BISHOP

  2. #2
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    B while I never chime in on Vets(I have no experience) I will say that it could also be chronic pain.
    The man maybe hurting and to proud to admit it. You say bad knees and back. Now this I do have experience
    with, it is really hard to care about anything if your body is screaming at you every minute of every moment.
    That's all I will say.
    While no one ever listens to me,
    I am constantly being told to be quiet.

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    be the heat..

  3. #3
    Team Gunsnet Platinum 06/2016 ltorlo64's Avatar

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    I am not a combat veteran so there may be other resources but if he is retired there are many through his Tri-Care medical insurance (not the VA) he can use. If he lives near a base there will also be resources there. The issue being he has to decide to go to them, they won't (and I believe they are prevented from) seeking him out. If he has family they may be able to refer him but he still doesn't have to go. Unless he is arrested or forcibly hospitalized for being a danger to himself or others these programs are voluntary.
    Last edited by ltorlo64; 12-29-2016 at 05:17 PM. Reason: Typo correction
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    **Team GunsNet SILVER 12/2014** skorpion's Avatar

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    <=== Combat vet of Iraq

    I've seen this before; guys get out and become slobs. For some guys who served many years in the shit, they feel like they no longer have a purpose, don't know what to do with themselves, and let themselves go. Although usually an older crowd, it wouldn't hurt for him to hang out with some VFW guys. Although the negative side of that is those VFW halls always have beer on tap.

    I recently found a guy I served with on Facebook. Some of the stuff he posts is disturbing and it's sad. I did not send him a friend request...

    The bottom line is that some guys can handle the mental stresses and others cannot. A lot of guys saw things they cannot un-see. I saw a lot of goofy and gory stuff while I was in, but I also still see goofy and gory stuff as a cop and it doesn't bother me. I saw buddies get blasted in IEDs, shot in the face, lost a good platoon commander, etc. and it sucks, but I moved on. Sorry to hear about the current state of your friend.
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  5. #5
    Senior Member Helen Keller's Avatar

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    they feel like they no longer have a purpose, don't know what to do with themselves

    that's the answer right there.


    You feel like you're no longer part of anything and your attitude is basically "fuck it" .






    I remember when i first came home , my friends that were still in were already in iraq and afganland for a few months before i got out so i couldn't really stay in contact with anyone like i had been- so loneliness/boredom set in quick . I really didn't care about shit when i moved back home, sat around drinking quite a bit and on unemployment for 6 months. by the time I got my shit together I got a job for $8.50 an hour , real morale booster there. eventually wound up with my current job and havent looked back .

    When i see younger guys starting at work some of them have had the same attitude for a little while. You either snap out of it or you'll be bogged down and on your way to a life of shit.
    Last edited by Helen Keller; 12-29-2016 at 05:45 PM.
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