Holy crap, Jihad Monkeys...Taliban training monkeys with AK's

**mriddick** · 07-19-2010, 01:16 PM

I think it's fake but it does make for an interesting B movie plot...

http://www.anorak.co.uk/253541/stran...-soldiers.html

FORGET the nuclear pigeons and the exploding breasts, and know that the Taliban have trained a millions monkeys to wage bloddy war on the West.

The Taliban have trained monkeys to use the Kalashnikov rifle, Bren light machine gun and trench mortars. And lest they kill just anyone, the Taliban have taught the monkeys how to identify and attack soldiers wearing U.S. military uniforms.

What they do when they see a monkey wearing the garb of the US marines is not known. It can only be feared.

The moneys are not native to Afghanistan but foreign mercenaries shipped in from Africa. They are macaques, baboons and French agents.

A senior U.S. military source confirmed the existence of the Taliban monkey soldiers, military experts call armed monkeys “monkey terrorists”.

Will the US dare to shoot a monkey? It’s time to release the West’s most dastardly weapon yet. Time to export the animal rights activists to warzone.

Taliban v Peta. Game on!

**Blacksmith** · 07-19-2010, 01:21 PM

And so it begins.
and most thought the planet of the apes was just fiction.

**cciota** · 07-19-2010, 01:28 PM

More stimulus money hard at work!

**ATAK, Inc.** · 07-19-2010, 04:58 PM

Damn, I thought this was going to be about Obama's civilian defense force!

**Sidartha** · 07-19-2010, 06:59 PM

That is awesome!
I hereby approve of this thread.

**bgummer** · 07-19-2010, 07:05 PM

I seem to recall this being a plot in DC Comics "Weird War Tales" - but with the OSS training Gorillas to fight the Nazis.

**justinsaneok** · 07-19-2010, 08:20 PM

Originally Posted by atak, inc.

damn, i thought this was going to be about obama's civilian defense force!

o burn

**Altarboy** · 07-19-2010, 08:50 PM

Detroit?

**gpwasr10** · 07-19-2010, 10:20 PM

I figured it was just a matter of time until they started recruiting a higher standard of life form.

**ksuguy** · 07-19-2010, 11:56 PM

It's too bad Chalton Heston is dead. We could use his expertise in dealing with this. I suppose we could get Mark Wahlberg, but that wouldn't be the same.

**Oswald Bastable** · 07-20-2010, 01:13 AM

Originally Posted by ksuguy

I suppose we could get Mark Wahlberg, but that wouldn't be the same.

Nope, he'd be diggin' up Michael Jackson for advice and more of that special monkey lovin'.

**Krupski** · 07-20-2010, 11:32 AM

Ah so THAT'S what "gorilla warfare" is!

**El Jefe** · 07-20-2010, 11:39 AM

Originally Posted by bgummer

I seem to recall this being a plot in DC Comics "Weird War Tales" - but with the OSS training Gorillas to fight the Nazis.

I remember seeing a documentary once that detailed how the Soviets at one time during the height of the Cold War, were trying to figure out how to breed humans with gorillas to come up with "super soldiers" to fight the west.

**raxar** · 07-20-2010, 03:25 PM

Originally Posted by Krupski

Ah so THAT'S what "gorilla warfare" is!

How did it take 13 posts for this joke to come up?

**Vorkutinetz** · 07-20-2010, 03:59 PM

Coming soon, trained to attack civilian cruise ships koi fish...Fast swimming, torpedo caring koi fish....

**Krupski** · 07-21-2010, 09:01 AM

Originally Posted by raxar

How did it take 13 posts for this joke to come up?

When I was a little kid, I always heard the term "guerrilla warfare" on radio and TV and I thought it was "gorilla" warfare... monkeys with machineguns. Seriously I did.