My mother has cancer

[rci2950]

My mother went into the hospital three days ago because of pains in her belly. Doctors thought it was her gall bladder at first and did a cat scan to see. They found cancer everywhere. Her bowel, liver and lungs. The doctor gave her 4 months. I was there beside her when the doctor told her. I had to break the news to everyone. Including my dad and her sister who lives with her. That was hard. he cried and she was hysterical for about 15 minutes. only other time i saw my dad cry was at his mothers funeral. Today i drove to her brothers house and told him. It gutted him. I thought he was going to have a heart attack. He started rubbing his left arm and sweating. I stayed with him quite a while until i was sure everything was ok. He took an Adavan and it made him better. I called him a couple hours later to make sure he was still ok. After supper i took the hour drive to my friends house to talk to him a bit and pick up my AR upper. This is the gun shop i always go to. I thought it would make me feel better. I cried the entire way there and back. He wasn't home. He is in Cape Breton at the gun show with his table. I knew that but forgot. His wife was there and gave me my upper and we talked a bit. I left because i didn't want to cry in the store. I was always very close to my mother. We are one in the same. Sense of humour, opinions on things. Everything. Im not ready to lose her. I don't know what to do. I haven't slept since it happend. I stopped in to see my mother on the way home from the gun shop. We hugged a while and cried. I told her i would bring her a tape recorder for her to record things for the kids when they are older. I am so sad and exhausted right now. I cant stop crying. Wife and kids are in bed. I am here with a bottle of famous grouse. Its helping a bit. Thinking about her funeral. I am going to have to set that up and i have no idea what to do. She told me she wants to be cremated and her ashes put in an urn and for me to keep her at my house. I am still on paternity leave until june 9. I told my sgt today. Him and the chief supportive. They want to see me on monday in the office to talk about what they are going to do with me. I cant go to sea now. I dont want to spend her last 4 months on the ship. Away from her. Only to get a message when she passes and get flown home for the funeral.

[Viking350]

I’m very sorry to hear that rci. I lost my mom a little over a year ago to Alzheimer’s. Spend as much time with her as you can. That’s what I did. I’ll pray for you and your family.

[Richard Simmons]

Sorry to hear this. Went through the same thing with my mother 35 years ago. Make the most of the time you have and leave nothing unsaid.

[rci2950]

i am so sad, i drank a whole bottle of famous grous and i am still sad. Hellen Keller please say somethign

[alismith]

Very sorry to hear this. I lost my mom about 6 years ago and lost my dad 3 years ago. It's hard, and the hardest part is still ahead for you. But you and your family will make it. As sad as it is, it's still a part of life, even if it really sucks.

My thoughts are with you and everyone up there. This is family time and it needs to be spent with your mom.

Don't try to hide your tears, no matter where you are or who you're with. Those tears mean something because they're from the heart and full of love.

[Krupski]

Aww shit... I'm so sorry to hear this. Don't know what to say or do that could help. But if there is anything, let me know.

-- Roger

[Helen Keller]

i am so sad, i drank a whole bottle of famous grous and i am still sad. Hellen Keller please say somethign

I don't wish what you're going through on anyone, experienced it before.


It's a crap draw and sucks all around but you need to keep a level head and be supportive of folks around you , and don't feel ashamed or weak cause you cry or break down a little bit . Don't keep that shit bottled up.




and don't beat yourself up thinking of all the times you screwed up or how you could have done things different or better. You did what you did and the real people in your life accept and love you for who you are.

[Altarboy]

I'm very sorry to hear that. I also have parents who are old and sick.

[l921428x]

Sorry to hear this Adam. I will pray for you and your family.

[FunkyPertwee]

Wow man, I am very very sorry to read this. I'll be praying for you for sure.

I would advise you to try not to drink too much and to spend as much time with your mother and with your own kids as possible.

And don't ever feel any shame for expressing yourself. Human beings cry and what you're going through right now certainly warrants it.

[rci2950]

i am feeling better today emotionally. I was hung over all day but i went and did some things with my dad. Groceries and stuff. we had a good talk. I am figuring out how to cope with this. I am going to try and make her as comfortable as i can until the end. I appreciate everyones kind words. I really do. I wasnt in a state of mind to be posting online last night. I should have stayed off the computer. Instead of drinking i should have just taken a sleeping pill and had a good nights sleep.

[l921428x]

It is ok. You need to get it out and we be here.

[ltorlo64]

I can't tell you how sorry I am that you are going through this. I can't think of anything else to say. It is too sad.

[1 Patriot-of-many]

Sorry Sir. It's pretty hard knowing the end is near for loved ones. But you'll see them again soon enough and it will be better days.

[rgmcl]

So sorry to here this. Lost my dad in 99 from a brain anurysim. It's hard but you and your family will make it through it
Prayers sent. God bless

[rci2950]

Thank you everyone for the kind words. My father is taking her for a drive today up to the valley. Were all doing as many things that she likes to do before she is too sick to do so. Last night and this morning was rough for me again. I am glad my wife is here. I have started to develop a cold. I don't want my mother to have that as well so i am going to just talk to her on the phone until it passes. I am going to take the time to get other things finished that i was neglecting.

[NAPOTS]

Thank you everyone for the kind words. My father is taking her for a drive today up to the valley. Were all doing as many things that she likes to do before she is too sick to do so. Last night and this morning was rough for me again. I am glad my wife is here. I have started to develop a cold. I don't want my mother to have that as well so i am going to just talk to her on the phone until it passes. I am going to take the time to get other things finished that i was neglecting.

I am sorry to hear that you have to face this. Both of my parents are still alive but as they get older I understand more and more that this is an eventuality for all of us. I think you have been given some great advice on here to help you through it.
From what I have observed in others; make the best use of the time that you have left together and make sure you are able to express what she has meant to you during your life. When the time comes be there for your family and your family will be there for you. Don't be afraid to let yourself grieve, it's ok to feel the emotions you are feeling; take solace in the knowledge that they will ease with the passing of time. Someday you will see her again.

[JTHunter]

RCI - my condolences on your troubles. My prayer for your mother is that she doesn't suffer. Was she a smoker?

[Hobe Sound AK]

I do understand how you are Feeling! Lost my 88 Year old Dad on 23 February. My Sister kept telling me and my Mother, it was coming, but I was so trying to hang on to my Dad for as long as I could. Finally, Congested Heart Failure, Severe Dementia, The Flu, and His Kidneys finally starting to Shut Down. I was only the way over to see him that fateful Friday Morning. I did not make it. He Died 6:30am Friday Morning. I keep, thinking about the Mike and the Mechanics 1988 Song In the Living Years. the 3rd. Verse starts with: I wasn't there that Morning, When my Father passed away! I said at his Funeral, he now walks the Aleutian Fields, finally in Peace. The Roman Word for Heaven. Aleutian. All I can say is be there, in her Final Moments, Bless your Family. Paul

[rci2950]

RCI - my condolences on your troubles. My prayer for your mother is that she doesn't suffer. Was she a smoker?

No she wasn't. Thats the hard part. She didn't even drink. Thank you for the prayers. It means a lot.

I do understand how you are Feeling! Lost my 88 Year old Dad on 23 February. My Sister kept telling me and my Mother, it was coming, but I was so trying to hang on to my Dad for as long as I could. Finally, Congested Heart Failure, Severe Dementia, The Flu, and His Kidneys finally starting to Shut Down. I was only the way over to see him that fateful Friday Morning. I did not make it. He Died 6:30am Friday Morning. I keep, thinking about the Mike and the Mechanics 1988 Song In the Living Years. the 3rd. Verse starts with: I wasn't there that Morning, When my Father passed away! I said at his Funeral, he now walks the Aleutian Fields, finally in Peace. The Roman Word for Heaven. Aleutian. All I can say is be there, in her Final Moments, Bless your Family. Paul

Yes. I plan on being there. It will be hard but it is a fact of life. I am spending as much time with her as i can now.