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Thread: How about a "make a story" game?

  1. #141
    Team GunsNet Bronze 07/2011 weevil's Avatar

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    Ferd-dog stood there a stupid smile on his face and his tail wagging as ferditta raised the pipe wrench over her head to smash his brains to pulp.

    NO FERDITTA NO!!!!

    Otis ran and grabbed the wrench inches from ferd's head.

    We need him!
    Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket???

  2. #142
    Team GunsNet Bronze 07/2011 weevil's Avatar

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    Carl and Jebediah came up behind them carrying a filthy mattress that they unrolled.

    Otis then commanded ferd-dog "up boy" and ferd-dog hopped on the mattress and began to happily roll around in the filth.

    Good boy, Otis said as he pulled a small box from his pocket and removed an eye. He then began to chant in Latin.

    As he chanted a ghostly headless figure began to rise from the mattress and engulf ferd-dog.
    Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket???

  3. #143
    Team GunsNet Bronze 07/2011 weevil's Avatar

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    As ferd began to slowly reform into a semi-human shape....they were startled by the sound of someone wracking a round into a pump shotgun.
    Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket???

  4. #144
    Team GunsNet Bronze 07/2011 weevil's Avatar

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    Kyle drew a bead on Otis and fired.

    Ferditta leaped in front of Otis and caught the blast in her chest.

    Jebediah flung his knife and hit Kyle square between the eyes killing him instantly.

    Otis finished his chant and turned to see what had happened...his brother was dead and ferditta' s broken body lay at his feet. He picked up her lifeless body and held her close as he began to sob uncontrollably.

    GET A DOCTOR!!!....he wailled!
    Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket???

  5. #145
    Team GunsNet Bronze 07/2011 weevil's Avatar

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    It's okay honey.....I'll be fine.

    I had on granny ferdberger's kevlar bra.

    And plenty of padding....piped up ferd who had taken off all his clothes.


    SHUT UP FERD.....they all shouted in unison.
    Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket???

  6. #146
    Team GunsNet Bronze 07/2011 weevil's Avatar

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    Ferditta praise be you're alright....but I need to know if there were some stangers in black trucks at the diner today.

    Yeah there were as a matter of fact....how'd you know that Otis???



    It's vital I speak to Dangerfield...do you know if he is with them?
    Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket???

  7. #147
    Administrator Krupski's Avatar

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    Just then, Dice came from around the barn and asked "whats with all the ruckus?". Ferditta stared at Dice's leg and shrieked in horror "oh no! you been bit!". Dice shrugged and casually said "so what?" as he puffed on his cigarette. Ferditta noticed a tiny wisp of smoke coming from Agent Dice's neck! Quickly, Ferditta put two and two together. Dice not infected with Suckerberg... Dice leaking smoke from his neck joint... Ferditta then knew! She asked Dice in a timid voice "y-y-you aren't....human, are you?" Dice let out a roaring laugh full of cigarette smoke and said...
    Gentlemen may prefer Blondes, but Real Men prefer Redheads!

  8. #148
    Team GunsNet Bronze 07/2011 weevil's Avatar

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    But I got all the right parts in all the right places darlin'....wanna give em try?

    Enough small talk we don't have time for this...Otis glared at Dice...where is Dangerfield!?!

    You vant I should kill it Otis, Carl asked.

    No not yet he might be able to take us to Dangerfield.
    Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket???

  9. #149
    Team GunsNet Bronze 07/2011 weevil's Avatar

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    When the ambulance pulled into the driveway of the Foulcheeks Clinic sheriff Talton thought it was odd no one came out to assist them.

    Where were the nurses, where were the guys with the stretcher...where was Doc Analface???
    Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket???

  10. #150
    Team GunsNet Silver 04/2015 Nobeard's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by weevil View Post
    You vant I should kill it Otis, Carl asked.
    Agent Dice took a drag from his Marlboro then pointed at Carl.
    "First of all, you need to UNFUCK your pronouns!" With a snort of disgust, he mimicked Carl's voice: "Really?'...you vant I should kill IT?" Then he exhaled with a laugh: "What? You sayin' I wear clown makeup and hang out in drain pipes?!"

    The exhaled smoke continued to leak from his neck. Ferditta gasped, pointing a trembling finger.

    Diceman rolled his eyes then used a nasally, mocking voice: "oh! OH!...he's not hue-man!!!"
    Nodding toward Ferd, he asked: "I'm not human?..Well what DA-FUCK is that!?!"

    When no one replied, he looked Ferd up and down, then continued. "Yule Brenner butt-fucked Peewee Herman and hadda love child!"

    "Hey!" Ferd grabbed his crotch and replied, "suck my dick!"
    Diceman smirked as everyone else yelled in unison
    "SHUT UP FERD!!!"

    "Well..." Agent Dice shrugged, "I guess you could call that a dick..."

    As Otis started to speak, Diceman held up an index finger telling him to wait. Popping his neck then taking another drag from the Marlboro as everyone watched intently. This time, smoke only came out of his nostrils as he exhaled.
    "Is that all better, sweetcakes?" He asked Ferditta in a patronizing tone.

    "Where is Dangerfield?" Otis demanded.

    "Your ol' man is helping Kinison salvage the Yukons" Dice replied. Everyone gasped at this revelation.

    "What?!" Dice looked surprised, "He's not that bad of a mechanic!"

    Otis tried to do a facepalm, but Ferditta stopped his hand and asked: Otis - that...Agent...is your father?!?

    "Oopsie" Dice brought his fingertips up to his mouth and feigned embarrassment. "Did I just let the rat outta the bag?..."
    Last edited by Nobeard; 04-13-2021 at 12:51 AM.

  11. #151
    Team GunsNet Silver 04/2015 Nobeard's Avatar

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    Smile

    "Vhat did you say?!?" Carl screamed, "It's a LIE!!!"

    All the Amish Commandos raised their Arisaka rifles and aimed at Diceman.

    "By all means ladies!!!" The Agent laughed and threw his arms out to the side with a grin, "Let 'er rip!"

    "Don't waste the ammo..." Otis sighed. "The only weapon on the planet that might make a dent is the Shottacuss Perpereus." He hooked a thumb toward Kyle's crumpled body.

    "That's right," Agent Dice confirmed. "and you don't have the right loads."
    Lighting a fresh Marlboro, he added: "More importantly, I'm one of the Good Guys and about the only hope there is to un-FUCK this nightmare, because...."

    The Commandos lowered their rifles, waiting for him to ckntinue. Diceman took a long, single drag and the cigarette was burned down to the filter when he finished. Exhaling two long jets of smoke from his ears, he continued.
    "...we're about two fritter-snaps from a full bore attack by....

  12. #152
    Team GunsNet Silver 04/2015 Nobeard's Avatar

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    At a deserted field near the Cooterville train station, Agent Dangerfield slid out from under one of the Yukons.
    "That's as good as is gonna get without a full overhaul and refit."
    After straightening his necktie, he walked over to Kinison and the crumpled mass that had been Diceman's vehicle.
    Rodney's eyes bugged out, "Yeesh - whadda mess!" He commented.

    "Don't like what ya see?.." Agent Kinison snickered, "Stay away from the mirrors."

    "Yeah - yeah." Dangerfield rolled his eyes. "Anything to salvage?" He asked.

    Kinison shook his head. "Venusian bitch had an EMP along with the thermobaric charge...with the rear hatch up there was zero protection, everything's toast."
    Looking to the north, Sam continued,"Wonder if Dice found her yet?"

    "You think she's hiding from him?" Dangerfield asked with surprise.

    Kinison shrugged, "The way those two infected freaks reacted when they saw her? Maybe she realized that..."

    "Ohhh" Dangerfield nodded, "That broad from the diner!" Then he smirked "thought Diceman said he was going to see yer mother!!!"


    (What's Ferditta's secret power over the infected mutants!?)

    (Will Diceman hook up with Kinison's mother?!?)

    STAY TUNED for the next Exciting Episode of
    Krupski's Cluuuuster-Fuck!!!!


    [a Gunsnet LLC production / All Rights Reserved]

  13. #153
    Team GunsNet Bronze 07/2011 weevil's Avatar

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    You vant we should bury Kyle or wrap him in da mattress?

    Where is he?

    Vy right ther.......ach do lieber he is gone and so is der shotgun!!!

    Kamala....she stole his soul and now she's taken his body, Otis said with a tear in his eye.

    KAMALA....da fuck has that crazy bitch got to do with this shit??? Dice's usual calm demeanor was visibly shaken.

    That's why I need to talk to Dangerfield.....
    Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket???

  14. #154
    Team GunsNet Silver 04/2015 Nobeard's Avatar

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    "That's why I need to talk to Dangerfield.....
    Otis walked up to Dice: "Does he know about the this pending attack?"

    "Yea..." Agent Dice paused to let the tension build, and make sure he had their full attention.

    "It's the combined forces of BLM and Auntie FAH." The tone of his voice was flat and uncharacteristically emotionless.

    Otis gasped and recoiled as if he'd been slapped with a frying pan.

    Carl, Jebediah and the Amish Commandos fell to their knees and began praying.

    Ferd was sitting on the filthy matress, scratching his right ear with his foot.

    Confused by the other's reaction, a sheepish look came over Ferditta's face...

    Which caused Ferd to loose his mind.
    Once he had been physically restrained and subdued, the Amish Commandos resumed praying in earnest while Otis stared at the ground.

    Diceman motioned Freditta off to one side.
    "I, uh...don't understand." she said hesitantly. "That congressman, didn't he say that BLM is a myth?..

    "Jerry Fatburg!" Dice shook his head with a chuckle then sighed.
    "You gonna believe a politician whose waist measurement is twice his inseam...and that's taking into account he pulls his pants up to his armpits?"

    "Listen Sweetcheeks," Agent Dice said in a low voice. "The Bald Lunatic Misfits are real." pausing to let that settle in, he continued:
    "They're also organized and very well funded."

    "Okay..." Ferditta nodded slowly. "The aunt whatever - who is she?"

    "Auntie FAH." Agent Dice was trying not to laugh as he spoke. "That guy was just another Flaming Ass Hat computer geek that was running rampant in California a few years ago. By 'flaming' we're talking so far over the top that the gay community in San Fransisco ran him outta town."
    He lit a fresh Marlboro. "So! He got a large inheritance, invested all of it in an unknown crypto currency called 'Poof Coin' right before it skyrocketed 10,000%."
    "Then? he sold out, right before it crashed the next day."

    "That sounds suspicious..."Ferditta mumbled.

    "Yea," Diceman agreed, "but nobody could prove anything." He took a drag and continued, "Ever since then, he's been building an army of idiot children."
    "Everything from emo rejects to halfwit goths, high school dropouts to 20 something college kids with huge loan debts on a useless degree."

    "Okay..." Otis walked over to Dice and Ferditta. He took a deep breath and asked. "So what should we do next?..."
    Last edited by Nobeard; 04-13-2021 at 12:08 PM.

  15. #155
    Team GunsNet Silver 04/2015 Nobeard's Avatar

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    "First thing?" Agent Dice nodded toward Ferditta. "We gotta get her to a safehouse, she may be our only chance to stop the Suckerberg epidemic...."
    Finishing the cigarette he added, "...cause it's about to get completely outta control!"

    "What?!" she looked at him in disbelief. "How am I supposed to stop something my dipshit brother cooked up!?"

    "Remember how those orange-eyed freaks reacted when they saw you?" Agent Dice asked with a raised eyebrow. "Well..."

  16. #156
    Team GunsNet Bronze 07/2011 weevil's Avatar

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    Ferd is only your half brother your real father is.....
    Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket???

  17. #157
    Team GunsNet Bronze 07/2011 weevil's Avatar

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    Well hell everybody knows we ain't got the same pa.....mama always said she met my daddy in bar but that's all she would ever say.
    Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket???

  18. #158
    Team GunsNet Bronze 07/2011 weevil's Avatar

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    Ferd popped up..I know my daddy he's Elijah Cooter but his ma won't let him claim me.....he used to bring me gifts on my birthday.
    Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket???

  19. #159
    Team GunsNet Silver 04/2015 Nobeard's Avatar

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    "SHUT UP FERD!!!" Everyone said in unison

  20. #160
    Team GunsNet Bronze 07/2011 weevil's Avatar

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    Sheriff Talton wandered through the dark rooms of the clinic trying to find some help for his deputy.

    Hello anybody home!

    Why don't these damn lights work Doc forget to pay his bill......he stopped dead in his tracks and reached for his gun.

    From the darkness ahead he could see a room full of glowing orange eyes.
    Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket???

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