LEAVE A WILL, LET YOU HEIRS KNOW

[1 Patriot-of-many]

Most people neither have a will or let their executor or heirs know where and what is to be given away. We just had our sheriffs office knock on our door tonight, to let us know my wife's sister was found deceased after a few days out in her home in PA. The PA police found a holiday card and address after the neighbor called for a welfare check. We don't know whether there's a will, where any important papers are, what shape the house is in, what bills are due ect ect ect., the police at least have a key the neighbor that reported it had. Wife is flying out tomorrow with one of our daughters, I'll be holding down the duck and chicken, dog and cat fort here. Quite a shock. she was 62. She wasn't in the best of health and was fully vaxxed. Died in her sleep on her couch downstairs. Apparently there is no water working in the kitchen and the house is filthy, two dogs have not been going out for a couple few days at least. Hopefully the upstairs isn't as bad as what the police warned my wife about downstairs. Anyway the gist of this message is GET A WILL DONE. Let your executor especially know where important documents are. Do this early in life. There isn't time later on to do it if you're dead. This concludes my rant and public announcement. Another PSA would be to stay in touch with your relatives even if you don't get along 100%.

[JTHunter]

Sorry to hear of your S-i-L's passing. It is never easy and those conditions you mention don't help.
I would suggest that, if people can, go beyond a will and investigate setting up a trust. You can put your house, car, etc., in the trust and this may prevent you having to go through probate. In addition to that, look into getting "powers of attorney" (PoA) for both health care and property. A decent lawyer that can set up your trust should also be able to do the PoAs. The problem with the PoAs is you have to choose someone you trust to do what you wish.

[308]

Most people neither have a will or let their executor or heirs know where and what is to be given away. We just had our sheriffs office knock on our door tonight, to let us know my wife's sister was found deceased after a few days out in her home in PA. The PA police found a holiday card and address after the neighbor called for a welfare check. We don't know whether there's a will, where any important papers are, what shape the house is in, what bills are due ect ect ect., the police at least have a key the neighbor that reported it had. Wife is flying out tomorrow with one of our daughters, I'll be holding down the duck and chicken, dog and cat fort here. Quite a shock. she was 62. She wasn't in the best of health and was fully vaxxed. Died in her sleep on her couch downstairs. Apparently there is no water working in the kitchen and the house is filthy, two dogs have not been going out for a couple few days at least. Hopefully the upstairs isn't as bad as what the police warned my wife about downstairs. Anyway the gist of this message is GET A WILL DONE. Let your executor especially know where important documents are. Do this early in life. There isn't time later on to do it if you're dead. This concludes my rant and public announcement. Another PSA would be to stay in touch with your relatives even if you don't get along 100%.

I concur. My dad died last year, and even when the will was rock solid iron clad and I was verified by the courts as the executor and personal representative, the scum family members crawled out from under their rotted piece of plywood in the back yard and made my life a living hell for a year.

[1 Patriot-of-many]

I concur. My dad died last year, and even when the will was rock solid iron clad and I was verified by the courts as the executor and personal representative, the scum family members crawled out from under their rotted piece of plywood in the back yard and made my life a living hell for a year.

I hear a lot of horror stories of greedy family members fucking everyone else just to keep their axe grinding. Sorry you had to go through that. I Imagine my oldest daughter (estranged)who is getting next to nothing percentage wise in our wills, will be the one to be the fly in the ointment for the other two children and other relatives.

[5.56NATO]

I concur. My dad died last year, and even when the will was rock solid iron clad and I was verified by the courts as the executor and personal representative, the scum family members crawled out from under their rotted piece of plywood in the back yard and made my life a living hell for a year.

It takes a death to reveal what family is truly like.

[1 Patriot-of-many]

It takes a death to reveal what family is truly like.

THIS^ Glad I'll be dead before I find out.

[davepool]

My wife's mom died 2 yrs ago and left her 9 children a healthy 7 figure inheritance, i was ready for a huge fight but it didn't happen, she had a well written will, no one protested and the checks went out a year after her passing....and everyone is still civil to each other.

I'm blown away by this, my wife and her 3 sisters can't be in the same room for more than 30 minutes before a fight breaks out

[1 Patriot-of-many]

My wife's mom died 2 yrs ago and left her 9 children a healthy 7 figure inheritance, i was ready for a huge fight but it didn't happen, she had a well written will, no one protested and the checks went out a year after her passing....and everyone is still civil to each other.

I'm blown away by this, my wife and her 3 sisters can't be in the same room for more than 30 minutes before a fight breaks out

My oldest had a fit the very night my wife found out and started her shit blaming. The next day flipped out when my wife booked a flight with my second daughter to go out and see what's going on (ITS A FUCKING MESS). Today she found out there is no will to be found. She flipped out even worse. I'm ashamed to say she was my first spawn. She's all about herself. I've been selfish most of my life, guess it rubbed off.

[davepool]

My oldest had a fit the very night my wife found out and started her shit blaming. The next day flipped out when my wife booked a flight with my second daughter to go out and see what's going on (ITS A FUCKING MESS). Today she found out there is no will to be found. She flipped out even worse. I'm ashamed to say she was my first spawn. She's all about herself. I've been selfish most of my life, guess it rubbed off.

Yea, i'm 70 now and starting to see some of my flaws show up in the "adult" children

[kuntryboy]

they sure act funny, when you talk about money. my mother died in her sleep (i pray to do the same). her will and everything was written out for us. her attorney was thrilled that the 3 of us agreed on everything. my advice get a will and durable power of attorney.

[Oswald Bastable]

Money does tend to sort out the shits from the shizznits...

When my mom died, she was relatively wealthy...some of what she'd earned and saved, some from inheritance.

My grandfather, her dad, was a multi-millionaire when he died...grandma inherited everything (after taxes, of course...at that time the gooberment took half of everything over 600k) and her lawyer told her to live it up, she'd never be able to spend all that was left. Grams did her best in that regard, but still being relatively frugal, left a ton.

When she died the estate was split between my mom and her surviving brother (after the gooberment got their half of everything over 600k, of course...that still being the gooberment rapeage of the times).

My mom died without a will...per Utah law the estate was to be split between myself, my brother and my sister...my brother was the executor.

Between house, savings, various accts, etc., my mom was probably worth at least a million...when all was said and done I got about a quarter of that...I suspect my sister got less.

My family had a rather strange dynamic. I'm 10 years older than my brother, 11 years older than my sis. I moved out when I was 17, they were 7 and 6 respectively, and we didn't really have much contact with each other until my mom died. When I returned for the funeral, I thought I'd really reconnected with my brother (I was a terrible older brother...teased him mercilessly...I was a giant shithead as a teen) but I'd thought we'd really connected and washed that all under the bridge.

For the next five years after that I'd call my brother every year at xmas and his bday...always the answering machine, leave message with wishes and my number, never a return call. Sis and I still talk and connect now and again...but haven't heard a single word from my brother since my two trips out there after my mom passed.

I doubt I got my full 3rd of the estate...possibly I did...never got any kind of paperwork detailing the assets or breakdown, and I wasn't gonna be the family shithead (hey...I've grown wiser over the years) to stink up a crappy situation.

But I do think my brother's failure to follow up on what seemed to me to be a promising re-connection/rapproachment speaks volumes.

[1 Patriot-of-many]

Money does tend to sort out the shits from the shizznits...

When my mom died, she was relatively wealthy...some of what she'd earned and saved, some from inheritance.

My grandfather, her dad, was a multi-millionaire when he died...grandma inherited everything (after taxes, of course...at that time the gooberment took half of everything over 600k) and her lawyer told her to live it up, she'd never be able to spend all that was left. Grams did her best in that regard, but still being relatively frugal, left a ton.

When she died the estate was split between my mom and her surviving brother (after the gooberment got their half of everything over 600k, of course...that still being the gooberment rapeage of the times).

My mom died without a will...per Utah law the estate was to be split between myself, my brother and my sister...my brother was the executor.

Between house, savings, various accts, etc., my mom was probably worth at least a million...when all was said and done I got about a quarter of that...I suspect my sister got less.

My family had a rather strange dynamic. I'm 10 years older than my brother, 11 years older than my sis. I moved out when I was 17, they were 7 and 6 respectively, and we didn't really have much contact with each other until my mom died. When I returned for the funeral, I thought I'd really reconnected with my brother (I was a terrible older brother...teased him mercilessly...I was a giant shithead as a teen) but I'd thought we'd really connected and washed that all under the bridge.

For the next five years after that I'd call my brother every year at xmas and his bday...always the answering machine, leave message with wishes and my number, never a return call. Sis and I still talk and connect now and again...but haven't heard a single word from my brother since my two trips out there after my mom passed.

I doubt I got my full 3rd of the estate...possibly I did...never got any kind of paperwork detailing the assets or breakdown, and I wasn't gonna be the family shithead (hey...I've grown wiser over the years) to stink up a crappy situation.

But I do think my brother's failure to follow up on what seemed to me to be a promising re-connection/rapproachment speaks volumes.

You could always sue him. Executor is liable.

[Oswald Bastable]

Naw...not worth the trouble for what I'd likely get after paying off the liars...